Made Me Realize
by jadefirefly3D
Summary: After the events of NWHS Dipper feels betrayed. His world is crumbling all around him in more ways than one, he's lost faith in his family, he's given up and wants nothing to do with Stan, the Author, or the Journals or anyone. But when Mabel's life is on the line, his best chance at saving her and maybe even the world is to trust the last person he ever wants to speak to again.
1. Trust No One

A/N Hi everyone! Thanks for clicking on my story and I really hope you like it! Here's a few things you may want to know before getting started:

1) If this looks familiar to you (besides the first scene being the last scene from "Not What He Seems") it could be because you saw it before from Mabel's POV in the story "Mabel's Choice". This is the companion story told (mostly) from Dipper's POV and the first few chapters of each story will be very similar, though still different due to the differing perspectives.

2) By design each story is intended to work independently from the other so you don't _need_ to read "Mabel's Choice" to follow this story and vice versa however my intention is that they'll compliment each other in such a way that reading both will be beneficial but it's not necessary to read both. I consider this not a prequel or sequel, more like a midquel (is that a word?).

3) Though both this story and "Mabel's Choice" take place at the same time, each story will be vastly different so it's not a case of the exact story from differing POV's. If you're following the other story, you'll understand why, but I don't want to spoil it for you in case you do decide to read "Mabel's Choice" (Which I really hope you do, even if it's not needed for this to make sense.) Let's just say something happens in Chapter 5 of "Mabel's Choice" that sends that story in a very different direction from the one this story will take.

4) I think it's a given but this story is, well _will_ be AU because when the next episode finally airs this little version of what could happen after NWHS will be proven wrong and I can't wait to see what Alex has in store for us! "Prepare to have your head-canons annihilated," Alex apparently said. Well, Alex, awesome Alex, I'm counting on it. BRING IT! Seriously, I can't wait! It's one of the reasons this story exists, because I need something to help me pass the time during this hiatus! Hopefully this will help y'all deal with the hiatus as well. Something's gotta fill the void!

 _EDIT 7/29/2015. Well now that the new episode has aired, I have decided that while I won't change the backstory of the two Stans to match with the show, I am fixing the issue with who is the real Stanford Pines since it's not just plot, but the whole real identity of the characters. Over time, once I get used to the fact that Grunkle Stan is actually Stanley and the Author is Stanford, it would feel weird keeping it that way for this and "Mabel's Choice". So it's still my original AU backstory, but it will now include the identity switch and Grandpa Shermy. :-)_

Well, without further ado, please enjoy!

* * *

 **Trust No One**

"Don't touch that button!"

Stan's voice echoes through the room, stilling Dipper's hand as he raises it over the shutdown switch, ready to press it and put an end to whatever Stan, if that's truly his name, did. If he had the time, there's a million things he'd like to say to his 'Grunkle', but there's only a minute left on the clock and with Soos and Mabel by his side, he has to end it.

 _I always knew you were a con artist, so I can forgive the fake I.D's, I know you had a past, I know the Mystery Shack is one big tourist trap, but to learn that you had this secret bunker? That you built this…Doomsday device or whatever the heck this machine is? That you had the other two journals the whole time when you_ knew _how important they were to me?_

"Dipper, just back away," Stan begs, approaching them with his hands raised to show he means no harm, "Please don't touch that shutdown button, you gotta trust me."

"And I should trust you why?" Dipper hisses, furious but most of all betrayed, "After you stole radioactive waste? After you lied to us all summer? I don't even know who you are!"

 _Did you fake your death? Did you steal our_ real _Grunkle's identity? Did you_ know _this could tear the Universe apart?_

"Look, I know all this seems nuts, but I need that machine to stay on! If you'll just let me explain…"

 _A little late for explanations!_ He thinks when the energy in the room suddenly shifts and something on Stan's watch beeps.

"Uh oh, brace yourselves!" he warns before gravity suddenly seems to just shut off and he's suddenly floating away from everyone. He acts quickly and grabs hold of something, unnerved by the strange and sudden sensation of weightlessness.

"Dipper!" Mabel cries, her voice full of panic. He looks to her, relieved to see she's still near the switch and isn't floating away. At this point, he won't be able to reach it again as gravity seems to be pushing him back. He swallows with worry when he realizes that gravity is pulling her towards the machine instead of away from it like everyone else. But her foot is tangled in a power cord or something and she can still get to the switch and turn it off before anything bad can happen to any of them.

"Mabel, shut it down!" he tells her, "Hurry."

She nods, using the cord to pull herself down to the switch, grabbing hold of the stand tightly, her hand raised to press the button.

"No, Mabel, Mabel, stop!" Stan begs, launching himself towards her— _leave her alone!_ —but to Dipper's relief Soos intervenes, hurdling himself into Stan, knocking him off course. "Ahh, what are you doing? I gave you an order!"

"Sorry Mr. Pines," Soos voice sounds pained, sounding just as betrayed as Dipper feels, "if that really is your name, but I have a new mission now: protecting these kids!"

"Soos, you idiot! Let me go!" Stan grunts, fighting him off.

Mabel looks completely overwhelmed and hesitates, watching the scene with wide glistening eyes. _Oh man, she's choking…gotta help her…_ He pushes himself into the melee, helping Soos fight Stan and hold him back, "Go Mabel! Press the red button! Shut it down!"

That seems to snap her out of it and she frowns, raising her fist over the button.

"No you can't!" Stan pleads desperately, fighting Soos and Dipper off, "You gotta trust me!"

"Grunkle Stan, I don't even know if you're my Grunkle!" she cries, her voice breaking. The pain in her voice is so raw and real— _Damn you Stan for making her cry!—_ and Dipper's first instinct is to go to her and make her feel all better because he can't stand it when she's hurt or upset. It seems that an upset Mabel is something _no one_ wants to see because Stan and Soos have a similar reaction and they all stop fighting. "I want to believe you but…" she clutches the stand helplessly, her tears floating up and away from her closed eyes, as gravity tugs at her, pulling her towards the machine.

 _Hold on, Mabel, don't let go! Just press the button…_ he thinks worried because they seem to be out of the machine's range, merely hovering in the air while gravity seems to want to pull her straight for the rainbow circles of light swirling bigger and bigger in the center of the giant inverted triangle. Beyond that is what looks like the vastness of space— _Is that a portal?—_ and Dipper's terrified that she'll get sucked through before she can stop the countdown.

"Then listen to me," Stan says, pleading his case, "Remember this morning when I said I wanted to tell you something?"

Suddenly the room is filled with another surge of energy that blasts from the machine and he, Stan and Soos are thrown back. He slams into the back wall with a grunt, his first thought is making sure Mabel's still OK. She's holding onto the stand for dear life, a slight wince of pain on her face as she closes her eyes, looking completely torn. Her eyes open and she looks determined as she clutches the stand tightly and raises her fist over the button.

"I wanted to say that you're going to hear some bad things about me and some of them are true. But trust me, everything I've worked for, everything I care about, it's all for this family!"

Dipper watches her expression shift as she listens, considering what he has to say. _No, no, no…Mabel I know you'd rather follow your heart and trust people, but now's not the time for that!_ If it were possible, he would go to her and shut it off himself, but the machine is making gravity push him away as it tries to pull her closer.

"Mabel, what if he's lying?" Dipper asks, begging her to be reasonable, "This thing can destroy the universe! Listen to your head!"

She looks so overwhelmed as she glances behind her a the swirling vortex of light and colours, the endless space beyond and his heart tightens in fear. Fear that she'll do something stupid and let the clock reach zero, fear that she'll lose her grip and go flying into the vortex and he'll lose her forever, fear that no matter what she does, this will still end very, very badly.

"Look into my eyes Mabel! Do you really think I'm a bad guy?"

 _Don't trust him! He lied to us all summer! Trust me, please! I know you want to believe him but the whole world is at stake, and he lied to us!_

"He's lying! Shut it down NOW!"

She looks like she's about to break under the pressure as she looks back and forth between them, frantic, afraid, uncertain and in pain.

 _Come on Mabel, it's not that hard just hit the button! Let Stan explain himself later, when we're all still alive!_

"Mabel please!" Stan begs.

She frowns raising her hand over the button again, and for a second Dipper thinks she's finally listening to reason- _And with just seconds to spare!-_ but then she hesitates, her eyes softening. _No, no, no…_ She spares Dipper a quick glance before she looks away almost as though she's ashamed. _No…Don't be stupid Mabel, don't trust him, trust me!_

"Grunkle Stan…" she says, as a tear floats away from her eyes. Dipper holds his breath in anticipation and fear while Mabel seems almost like she's at peace with her decision, "I trust you," she says, raising her arms in surrender floating away from the switch towards the vortex.

"Mabel are you crazy?" Dipper shouts, terrified, feeling like he's been sucker punched in the gut as the clock reaches zero, "We're all gonna—!"

He doesn't get to finish his sentence because the whole room is suddenly filled with a blinding white light and his body buzzes with strange, painful energy that makes him scream. The last thing he sees before everything goes black is his sister in the epicenter of the blast and his last thought is that Mabel betrayed him. She chose to trust a con man over her twin brother and killed them all.

When the dust settles Dipper groans, his body aching as he tentatively opens his eyes— _Wait…I'm not dead? I'm not dead!—_ and looks around in shock, marvelling at the damage the blast caused and the fact that he somehow survived it. Instinctively he scans the room for Mabel, he is relieved to see Soos is alive, slowly pushing himself up into a sitting position, and despite the fact he caused this all, Dipper can't help but be glad Stan seems to be alive and relatively OK too. He spots Mabel near the machine, still unconscious— _Please just be unconscious!—_ and though his heart aches with the knowledge that Mabel chose Stan over him, he can't think or do anything else until he knows she's OK.

He's still in a daze when he finally sees movement from her and relaxes as she groans and inches her way towards him. He climbs to his feet and approaches her, helping her up. Once on her feet she sways, looking unsteady and he holds her until she finds her balance. _Are you OK?_ He silently asks and she nods, giving him a small, apologetic smile. He's relieved, but now that he knows she's OK he allows himself to acknowledge the fact that she trusted a man who may not even be their real Grunkle over _him_ her own twin brother. She'd rather risk the entire world for the sake of a con man than do the logical thing, the _right_ thing.

 _Good, you're OK. Now I can be mad at you. What the heck Mabel?_

He backs away from her, unafraid to show his anger and frowns, rubbing his aching head as he looks towards the machine and freezes when he sees a figure emerging from the debris. He walks forward, a tall foreboding presence and Dipper's breath hitches in fear, but then the figure kneels down in front of one of the journals, resting his hand on the cover. His six fingered hand.

"Wha-?" he gasps, "Who's that?" It's a crazy question to ask, because Dipper's not an idiot, he put the pieces together in his mind as he spoke, because the man has six fingers! Just like on the journal so…so it has to be, but...

"The author of the journals," Stan says, just as Dipper expected and before Dipper can fully process it, the man lowers his hood, revealing his all-too familiar face that looks just like Stan's, "My brother."

 _That_ is something Dipper definitely did not see coming. _It all makes sense now…but why didn't Stan tell us? How could he keep this a secret from me when he_ knew _how much the journals meant to me? He_ knew _I was looking for the identity of the author, he_ knew _I was trying to find the other journals, and all this time…? He knew._

"Is this the part where someone faints?" Mabel blurts. Her words annoy him, because how can she joke at a time like this? Stan lied to them, betrayed them, and yet she chose _Stan_ and now the Author is standing right there in front of them! It's exactly what Dipper wanted, but the way it came about…he's so conflicted about how to think or react to it all.

"Oh I am so on it, dude!" Soos says cheerfully, pretending to pass out. For some reason that doesn't annoy Dipper in the slightest. Soos is just trying to relieve the tension, and yeah, so was Mabel but Soos isn't a traitor so he gets a pass for his untimely humour.

He's not exactly sure how to react. His mind is going a mile a minute as he tries to process the days events. From the perfect morning with the fireworks and popsicles and water balloon fights, to Stan's arrest, to escaping the agents and trying to prove Stan's innocence, only to discover his guilt goes far deeper than he realized. And then the secret bunker under the Mystery Shack, and the fact Stan had the other journals, and the machine that could've destroyed the world but didn't, and Mabel choosing Stan over him, despite what they learned about him and now the Author is standing right in front of him. How do you react to something like that? It's too much to take in.

Mabel suddenly reaches for him and stumbles when he steps away, but he doesn't care nor does he make any move to steady her. She's fine and he's angry. Sure, he's relieved the world didn't end, but she didn't know that would happen. And her choice did result in the sudden and unexpected appearance of the _Author of the Journals_ , someone he's wanted to identify and meet and talk to since he discovered Journal #3, she didn't know that would happen. She had no reason to expect anything but disaster, and she chose to trust _Stan_ , the con artist who might not even be their Grunkle?

 _If there was ever a time you should've trusted me and used your brain, it was now and you chose_ Stan _._ He thinks bitterly as Stan takes a step towards the Author. _Wait does that mean the Author's our grandfather? Why didn't Stan just_ tell _me? We could've worked together on this, instead I spent so many sleepless nights trying to solve the biggest puzzle in this town and Stan knew all along!_

Stan's eyes glisten as he steps forward and the Author does the same, choking out hoarsely, "Stan, is that you?"

"It's me," Stan replies, his voice thick and rich with emotion, "you're…you're back. I can't believe it."

For a moment, all is forgiven and everything makes sense when Dipper watches the long lost brothers pull each other into a warm embrace, and the reunion is almost enough to make Dipper forget everything. He spares Mabel a glance— _Maybe you_ were _right to trust him all along—_ still very much confused but almost at the point of understanding. But the moment is short lived when suddenly the Author's expression darkens and he pulls away, delivering a fierce right hook into Stan's jaw.

"What have you _done_?" he demands.

Stan merely rolls with the punch, putting a hand to his split lip and nods, "I probably deserved that."

The Author takes Stan's shirt collar into his fists, pulling him so they're face to face as he lifts him off the ground, spitting menacingly, "Damn right you do! Do you have _any_ idea the mess you caused? You fool! You idiot! You…"

Grunkle Stan does nothing to try and fight back or defend himself, instead he looks his brother in the eyes and calmly says, "You would've done the same thing if you were in my shoes, and you know it."

"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" Dipper exclaims, exasperated and confused. So much is happening and it's too much to take in at once and he doesn't know how to react or how to feel.

"Who are they?" the Author demands, tilting his chin towards Dipper and Mabel and Soos who's back on his feet, and clearly just as conflicted as he is.

 _Did you know about all this, Soos?_ Dipper wonders, though he doubts Soos had any idea judging by the look in his eyes. He looks hurt and disappointed, which Dipper can easily relate to at the moment.

"They're Shermy's grandkids, Dipper and Mabel, the big guy is Soos, my handyman."

"Wait, I'm a great-uncle?" the Author expresses in surprise. He lets go of Stan who straightens his shirt and steps towards them in shock, scrutinizing them in detail before apparently deciding they're related. Dipper shrinks under his gaze, his eyes are cold and stern, weathered with time and hardships but there's no doubt that he's Stan's brother.

"Kids, meet my twin brother, your Grunkle Stanford," Stan gestures toward him.

"Wait," Dipper exclaims, "I thought you were...if you're not Stanford, then who _are_ you?"

"I'm still your Grunkle Stan, but my name's actually Stanley..."

"You _stole_ my identity?" the Author, the _real_ Stanford Pines accuses. "Why would you do that?"

"I kinda had to," Stan replies, "It's a long story."

"Wait a sec, your parents named you dudes, Stanford and Stanley?" Soos exclaims, "Talk about confusing!"

Dipper grins, appreciating Soos's attempt at easing the tension again, removing any doubt about whether or not Soos was a part of Stan's plan. At least there was _someone_ on his side. He glances at Mabel, still unable to believe that she'd take Stan's side, though if she didn't he would've never met the Author. It opens the door to so many possibilities and now he can find the answers he'd been looking for. Mabel looks a little…off, but it had to be just as overwhelming for her as it is for him.

"Well, he always went by the name Ford," Stan explains, "made it a little less confusing."

"You…you wrote the journals," Dipper murmurs in awe, "all this time…the author was my great-uncle, my _other_ great-uncle? I thought…I thought..." _Well, I guess that explains the newspaper article, Grunkle Stan_ did _fake his death, and took the identity of his brother for some reason...but why? Why would he do that? And WHY DIDN'T GRUNKLE STAN TELL ME? We already knew he was a conman, I would've understood, maybe I could've helped him..._

The real Stanford-Ford, shrugs him off, hardly giving him any regard. Instead he turns to Grunkle Stan and hisses in accusation, "You told him about the journals?"

"Kid found out on his own," Stan replies.

Dipper can't help himself though, despite the anger and sting of betrayal that has him practically shaking, he can't help but be in awe because at last the _Author of the journals_ is standing right there in front of him, and he's his _great-uncle_ , he's _family_! "I have so many questions…journal #3 has been like, my _bible_ since I found it!" Dipper stammers, "you have no idea how long I…"

Ford scoffs, rolling his eyes dismissively, "Then you are a fool for putting so much stock into something that is mostly meaningless drivel written long ago by a young, ignorant and paranoid man. And the rest… was either a lie or should have never been seen by _children_ or anyone for that matter." He gestures vaguely at the broken portal, "Case in point..."

Dipper reels, feeling as though he'd been struck and all at once his faith in everything is shattered completely, "But…that's not true. It's saved our lives many times... it…"

"You shouldn't have done this Stanley," Ford hisses, ignoring Dipper completely as his eyes scan the room at all of the damage caused by the Portal, "You knew better than to rebuild this, you _know_ how dangerous turning this on was!"

"I got you back, didn't I?" Stan's voice shakes as he speaks, "Isn't that worth anything?"

"Not if it means killing us all!" Ford snaps angrily, "Because that's exactly what you've done!"

Dipper spares Mabel another glance when she releases a small gasp, the colour seems to have drained from her face, probably from guilt and Dipper's so disappointed by her decision to trust Stan over him, over _reason_ , no matter what the outcome, he can't help but think bitterly, _Well sis, happy now?_

"You're wrong, Ford," Grunkle Stan shakes his head, "might've caused a little bit of damage, but in case you didn't notice, the clock reached zero and the world didn't end."

"Oh don't you get it? Did you think it would be instantaneous? All you did was kick-start the beginning of the end!"

"Wh-what?" Mabel chokes out shock and guilt etched clearly on her pale face.

"I wanted to save my brother!" Stan snaps, "I did what I had to do to save you, don't _you_ get it?"

"I told you to _never_ let that clock reach zero, no matter what!"

"It was the only way! Besides, _you_ did it!"

"Yeah and look where it got me? I had to throw myself in just to keep the world from literally falling apart!"

"Well, you're back now and the world is still in one piece. You're welcome."

"Yeah, I got through. Along with who knows what else?" Ford asks, "You've put everyone in danger with your recklessness…you _knew_ better. I told you not to save me!"

"And yet here you are," Stan mutters, "And I have no regrets."

"You will. You will regret letting that portal open," Ford warns dangerously.

"Don't blame Grunkle Stan," Mabel says finally, looking almost like she's going to throw up any second, "I'm the one who let it reach zero. I could have shut it off, but I didn't."

Everyone is taken aback by Ford's reaction when he twirls around to face her and furiously marches towards her, hands clenched into fists. He stands over her menacingly, looking like he's about to strike her and she flinches when he hisses, "You did _what_?"

No matter how angry and upset Dipper might be by her actions, no one, absolutely _no one_ threatens his sister and gets away with it. Soos reaches Ford first, getting in between them and shoving him away from her as Dipper moves to stand by Soos's side to come to Mabel's defence and shouts, "Hey! Leave her alone! We tried to stop it, OK? She just let her heart get in the way of her head!"

"Stupid girl gets it from _you_ I bet," Ford hisses at Stan, his hands still balled into fists.

"You can hate me all you want Stanford," Stan says grimly as he protectively positions himself between Ford and the twins giving his brother a forceful shove, "but leave these kids out of it. They're good kids, smart, strong, resourceful. You'd probably be real proud of them if you could just get rid of that stick that's clearly jammed up your rear end!"

"You just don't understand, do you?" Ford asks, disappointment in his eyes as he backs off finally, "Look Stanley, I appreciate you trying to save me, but I wasn't the one who needed saving. I jumped in to save _you_. To save everyone. Don't you see? And now you doomed us all."

"And you knew it, didn't you?" Dipper asks quietly, turning to Grunkle Stan with a heavy heart.

"I knew...I knew there were _risks_ ," he nods regretfully, swallowing hard, "but…"

 _Unbelievable,_ Dipper thinks, his anger growing deep inside to mask the hurt.

Ford sighs as he grabs the journals from amongst the debris, "Once again I'm left fixing your mistakes, aren't I Stanley? Only this time I don't think they can be fixed." On that note he storms out of the room, leaving everyone to watch in shock.

Dipper clenches and unclenches his fists as he tries to make sense of the roller coaster of emotions flowing through him. There's a lot that Dipper's willing to forgive, but Grunkle Stan crossed a line. And Mabel… he knows Mabel is the type to trust anyone she believes has good intentions, and deep down he knows he can't fault her for that, even if it gets her in trouble sometimes. But he _trusted_ her to do the right thing and shut down the portal, because when the whole world is at stake, that's not the time to have faith in someone who had proven themselves untrustworthy.

"I…I made the wrong choice, didn't I?" Mabel murmurs quietly, breaking the silence that had fallen over the room. She sways unsteadily and grabs Dipper's shoulder for balance but he pulls away quickly, still reeling from the sting of all that had happened.

 _I know all you want is a little bit of sympathy and forgiveness from me, but it's not going to work. Not this time. I_ trusted _you, Mabel!_

"Yeah, you did," Dipper replies icily, giving her the cold shoulder before turning on Stan, "And you…what the heck man? You _knew_ this machine could end the world, and maybe it still will! You lied to us, and now…"

"Dipper, he did it to save his brother…could you blame him?" Mabel asks.

"Yeah and at what cost?" Dipper retorts, "He willingly put us in danger…and all for that…that _jerk_. I…I fantasized about meeting the Author for so long and thought he'd be…I didn't expect him to… Gah! I don't know what to believe anymore!"

"I'm sorry," Stan shakes his head with regret, "Ford... he… he's changed. I don't know what he's been through, and I didn't know what to expect but I never expected him to turn on you kids like that… _I_ had it comin' it but…I'm sorry. I never meant for this to…"

"Too little too late _Stanford_ , no wait, that's not even your name because you lied about that too, _Stanley,_ " Dipper hisses, wiping a tear from his eye. _You're not Grunkle Stan anymore, not to me. We may be related but I don't know who you are anymore!_ He turns around starts to walk away, not even bothering to give anyone a second glance.

"Dipper…" Mabel calls after him, "Dipper wait!"

"Just… leave me alone Mabel," he sighs, heading for the elevator. _Don't you get it? I don't want to talk to you right now!_

"Uh-uh, no way!" she runs after him, "We still don't know everything, we can work this out! We just have to listen to what Grunkle…"

"Sure, take his side," Dipper huffs, "after all that he's done."

"I'm not taking anyone's side!"

"That's why you shut the machine down? Oh wait, you didn't. You decided to trust the man who has been lying to us all summer! And now we're all screwed!"

"We don't know that for sure," Mabel says hopefully, "Maybe Ford is wrong, maybe the worst is over."

"Or maybe it's only just beginning and the worst is yet to come!"

"If that's the case then we can fix this if we work together!"

 _Maybe, but not right now. I can't do this right now._ He opens the elevator door and turns to face her, "Go away Mabel. Just leave me alone, I need time to think."

"Dipper…I'm sorry."

He sighs, the sincerity in her words ring true and even though he's angry he can't deny the fact that she never wanted to hurt him. But it doesn't change the fact that she did and he's not quite ready to forgive her yet. There's too much going on in his mind, too much to sort through and she needs to understand that he can't do this right now. If she keeps pushing the way she is, he's going to say or do something he'll regret.

"I know, I know you meant well but…everything I've ever believed in this summer has turned out to be a lie. Grunkle Stan, the journals….and who knows what else happened when that portal opened? And I've given up so much for you, but when it mattered most? You chose to listen to Stan rather than me. We should've shut it off."

"I'm still not sure if that's true! Dipper, we don't have all the facts, there's still so much that we don't know and…"

 _Really? You're going on about the_ facts _? How about the fact that we're probably all doomed because of Stan, because_ you _chose to trust him over me_ after _we learned the truth about what he'd been keeping from us. If Ford made it through, who knows what else..._

"Please," he frowns, so on edge that he's afraid he might just lose it, and he doesn't want to do that, "just go away. I want to be alone for a while," He gives her a light shove, pushing her off the elevator and slams the door in her face, turning away.

As the elevator lifts him up to the basement level at the base of the stairs that lead to the vending machine, he thinks about the first lesson the Journal taught him:

" _In Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust! Trust no one!"_

 _Should've listened to the Journal,_ he thinks bitterly.

* * *

A/N Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think! I love any kind of feedback good or bad. Have a fantabulous day!


	2. Structurally Damaged

A/N Hey thank you so much to the four of you who reviewed! (And to all you wonderful peeps who favorited and followed this!)

shootingstar34: Thanks for the review and for the reviews you left for "Mabel's Choice". Means a lot. I'm really excited about writing Dipper's side of the story, especially since it will be quite a different journey than Mabel's as you already know. (wink) Glad you're enjoying both stories!

xJellybeannS2: Thanks I'm glad you like this so far!

gravityfalls22: So happy to see you're following this one, and I'm even more glad that I managed to break your heart twice by making you relive these scenes all over again! Will Bill be paying Dipper a visit? You'll just have to wait and see! I'd absolutely LOVE to hear your ideas and suggestions you have, even though I have this mapped out already, it's still fun to hear any predictions and whatnot you or anyone might have. So there's something else you wanted to mention in your last review but didn't? Now I'm getting all curiousy inside! Ideally I'll have these done by the time the next eppy airs but I'm not sure if that will be possible. I might be able to complete "Mabel's Choice" by then but I'm doubtful about this one. It's kind of daunting but I'll do my best.

Effervescent Dreamer: Thanks for the review. I hope that moment, when it comes will live up to your expectations. I'm kind of morbidly excited to get back to that part, though part of it comes from me wanting to get to something new as the first three chapters to this are so similar to the first four chapters of "Mabel's Choice". I'm glad you seem to be enjoying this so far!

To everyone who is following both stories, thank you! I hope that despite the fact you've seen these scenes before, I hope the change in POV has brought something new to the table. And again, to those who are only reading this one, that's OK, it's not necessary to read both for each to make sense. (Though I hope you do decide to read "Mabel's Choice" at some point) .

 _Edit 7/29/2015 Changed to include identity switch between the Stans._

Well, enough babbling, enjoy!

* * *

 **Structurally Damaged**

Dipper's anger had led him to the room he and Mabel shared. The journey up there was surprisingly a challenge as the Mystery Shack sustained some serious damage. But he's too angry to dwell on it, instead the cracked walls, the slanted floors, uneven stairways and giant mess of stuff all over the place only served to add fuel to the fire. He paces back and forth in their room, angry and hurt as he thinks about all that had happened.

Ever since he was little, Dipper's always been the type of person who tended to keep people at arm's length. Trust had to be earned, rarely was it freely given unless it was Mabel. He could trust her with anything. _Or so I thought…_

When they first arrived in Gravity Falls, for the first few days Dipper closed himself off to everyone but his sister. He didn't know what to make of Grunkle Stan, a man he saw as weird, eccentric and a little overwhelming to be around. Soos was just a handyman who was clearly loyal to his boss, did his job and went home, and Wendy was the cute girl at the counter he could only talk to when it was important because he wasn't sure how to talk to girls anymore. The first few days it was just him and Mabel versus the world—well, them versus the strange town they'd been exiled to for the summer.

But then he found the journal and everything changed.

He had already suspected that something weird was going on in Gravity Falls, things seemed a little off, and he swore he saw some creepy things in the woods he could not explain. But whenever he tried to bring it up, he'd get laughed at in his face. Well, Stan would laugh at him. Mabel would just roll her eyes as she continued her bizarre quest for an epic summer romance and they were the only two people he told. But the Journal…the Journal taught him that it was all true, the paranormal was real and he wasn't crazy. Somewhere out there was someone who knew what was going on, who he could relate to, who would probably take him seriously for once, despite being a twelve year old kid.

It was because of the journal that Dipper started to open up to Soos. When he rightly believed Mabel was in danger, wrongly assuming her new boyfriend was a zombie, Soos believed him. He didn't dismiss him as a dumb kid with an overactive imagination. That meant a lot. And a week later when Wendy witnessed him do the humiliating Lamby-Lamby dance to appease some vengeful ghosts, and then kept it a secret, making him look good in front of her friends, he knew he could trust her as well. If he didn't let his silly crush on her get in the way, she probably would've joined their circle a lot sooner.

Stan was another story. Always laughing at him for believing in the paranormal, always giving him the tough jobs, never taking him seriously…sure he liked Stan and could get along with him, but Dipper had always been a little guarded around him. That is until he went into Grunkle Stan's mind along with Mabel and Soos. There he learned that Stan really did care about him and that was what led him to consider letting him in on his big secret.

Telling Stan about the Journal was a big deal for him. A _huge_ step that he did not take lightly. He almost changed his mind but Mabel had given him a nudge, a big encouraging smile on her face. How did Stan react? He laughed in his face, _again_. And then he took the Journal away. It was a crushing blow for him, and the only thing that kept him from losing it was Mabel, reminding him that he didn't _need_ it to be a hero. But it made Dipper look at Stan a little differently, even after he returned it and especially after confessing he knew the supernatural existed.

 _And that whole time, during that whole exchange where he laughed in my face, made me feel like the biggest idiot on the planet, he_ KNEW _about it the whole time! I get his motives for keeping his knowledge of the paranormal a secret, but once I showed him that Journal, he should've just_ told _me!_

Dipper stops his pacing to sit on his bed, the frame is busted so it rests a little crooked but he doesn't care. He glances to the cork board he had been using to sort through the codes and ciphers and mysteries the Journal had opened his eyes to. The biggest mystery of all was the Author. Throughout the summer Dipper had begun to put the mysterious Author on a pedestal, idolizing the enigmatic stranger as someone who would be a mentor to him, who would see what he had accomplished all summer and be proud.

 _Lies,_ he thinks _, all lies. The biggest mystery of the summer has been solved at last and look how that turned out. We should be swapping stories, solving mysteries and just plain getting to know each other for the simple reason that he's our_ great-uncle _! But instead he's a jerk, he treated me like an idiot for believing in the journal that_ he _wrote, he_ threatened _Mabel for essentially rescuing him from who knows where! And Mabel….how could she? How could she choose to trust Stan over me?_

He picks the board up from where it had fallen off the wall and as he looks over the board, at all the clues that turned out to be false leads, at the codes he has yet to crack, at the names and pictures of all the people who he thought were good candidates for being the Author, all he can think about is how much of a fool he had been.

He stiffens when he hears the door open.

"Dipper?"

Realizing that he's starting to cry he carelessly swipes the moisture building up in his eyes. _Go away Mabel,_ he thinks, staring at his conspiracy board, his biggest obsession all summer, anger and betrayal boiling inside.

"Dipper, are you OK?" she asks softly, full of concern. She doesn't quite sound like herself, her voice is sad and weak, lacking the confidence and silliness she usually has.

 _What do you think? Of course I'm not OK, Mabel! Don't you get it?_ "It was all a lie," he mutters bitterly, his voice shaking, "all of it. None of it was real."

"You know that's not true," Mabel says, "unless all those weird things we've encountered this summer was only a sign that we're both delusional."

"That's not what I mean," Dipper snaps in irritation, twisting around to face her, "and you know it." He turns his back on her again, "Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?"

He can't see her, but he hears her shuffle around suddenly, "Yeah well, we've got to pack up our stuff. Stan says we have to go before the Agents get back."

"I'm not going anywhere with _him_ ," Dipper hisses.

"He's not coming," Mabel states quietly, "Soos is taking us home—back to Piedmont."

His breath hitches at the news. It all suddenly seems real to him that it's over. No more journals, no more mysteries and weirdness, no more Gravity Falls, soon they'll be back at their normal boring lives at home, forever changed. A few weeks ago, when Gideon stole the Shack, the thought of going home was a bad thing, but now?

"Good," Dipper mutters, climbing to his feet and haphazardly stuffing his backpack with random clothes, "because I'm done here."

He senses Mabel watching him as he packs, and he's waiting for her to say something stupid to ease the tension but she's unusually quiet. He's kind of glad because while he usually appreciates her random humour, right now he's not in the mood. She slowly starts to pack some of her own things, and if he wasn't so angry he might've asked if she was really OK because she does look pale, and he briefly catches a wince of pain cross her face as she snakes an arm around her middle while reaching for a sweater. He's mildly concerned, but the way he sees it, she only brought it on herself by trusting Stan. He figures she's probably overwhelmed by all that had happened, probably feeling guilty for her choice.

 _See where your blind faith in people has gotten you? Why can't you just use your head for once? Why couldn't you just trust_ me _? When have I ever given you a reason not to? Stanf on the other hand…_

He sighs and stops packing, deciding he's got everything he needs. A few clothes, some of the cool things he's collected over the summer, things he couldn't replace. He looks around the room, at the cracks in the walls that hadn't been there before, and then he looks back at his conspiracy board. With the Journal now in Ford's hands, it's all he has left of the biggest part of his summer. So many sleepless nights wasted trying to solve all these mysterious that all could've been answered if Grunkle St—if _Stanley_ just told him!

"I'm so sorry Dipper, I…" Mabel says, breaking the silence.

 _Shut up, Mabel, I don't want to hear it right now!_

He releases a garbled cry and without thinking he drops his stuff and grabs that stupid board, tearing off pictures and sketches, newspaper clippings and codes and smashes it against his desk. He catches Mabel flinch out of the corner of his eye, she's crying but it hardly registers as he continues to destroy his passion project, his _obsession_ all summer.

"It was all a _lie_!" he hisses, throwing it on the floor and kicking at the pieces, "All of it! Everything I ever cared about this summer was a _lie_! How could I have been so _stupid_?!"

"Dipper…" Mabel sobs, "Dipper please…"

He yanks his hat off his head and looks at it a moment, letting the betrayal fester within him as he recalls the day he got it. He and Mabel just got back from fighting an army of gnomes, he lost his lucky green hat with the star, and then Stan said they could each take one item from the gift shop. Stan had been pretty casual about it, but it had been obvious that it was a big deal for Stan to give anyone anything for free. He chose the blue and white pine tree hat, and while he too tried not to make it a big deal, it was the first time they really connected as Great Uncle and Nephew. It meant a lot to Dipper and he wore it every day, so much it had kind of become part of his identity.

 _How could I have been such a fool to_ ever _trust him?_ He thinks bitterly, throwing the hat on the floor with a garbled sob before he grabs his bag and storms out, not bothering to give his sister a second glance.

He makes his way downstairs and startles slightly when he sees Soos at the base of the stairs looking a little panicked, "Dude, where's Mabel?"

"Upstairs packing," he shrugs apathetically. Then it registers that Soos is _panicked_. "Why?"

"We have to go, now," Soos tells him, "It's not safe here."

"The agents aren't after us, Soos," Dipper says, "relax, it's OK."

"I'm not…I'm not talking about the Agents, dude," Soos motions to the damaged walls. He's practically shaking from worry.

"Soos, man are you OK?" he asks.

Soos shakes his head, "No. No I'm not. I can't…I can't believe this is happening and we have to get out of here before…"

"Before what?"

"Mabel hurry!" Soos calls up the stairs, "We have to go!"

"Is Waddles down there with you?" Dipper can hear her call back, sounding shaky and frantic. He and Soos both look around the disaster area that had once been the living room seeing no sign of the pig.

"No, but I'm sure he's fine Hambone. Now come on, we have to leave…it's not safe in here!"

"I can't leave without Waddles!" she cries.

"Mabel! Please!"

There's a pause and it sounds like she's heading downstairs but then she seems to stop, they faintly hear a moan, and Dipper can't help but worry, because if Soos thinks they should hurry, maybe they should _hurry_. He figures his sister is too overwhelmed to be thinking clearly or move as fast as she should so he exchanges glances with Soos and says, "I'll go get her."

"No, head outside, I'll get her…" Soos says but Dipper ignores him and heads back up the uneven and broken stairs.

"Mabel hurry up!" he hisses as he climbs, swallowing back his concern, because he knows it's just guilt that's got her acting all quiet and strange, and it's just the stress of her guilt that has her looking so pale. She's leaning against the wall, looking like she's about to throw up when he sees her but otherwise she looks fine and he feels stupid for worrying when he's supposed to be _mad_. "We don't have time to pack every stupid thing you have!"

Her expression shift from looking a little nauseated to looking like she's fighting back tears. She opens her mouth as though to say something but then she stops, wraps her arms around herself and brushes past him. When they get downstairs Soos looks relieved and ushers them outside through the gift shop.

Dipper's taken aback when he looks outside for the first time since they used Mabel's grappling hook to get inside. Everything is a mess and it's blatantly clear that the damage the Portal caused extended far beyond the Mystery Shack.

"Woah," he exclaims, marvelling at the sight of the trees, some broken in half, missing branches or even torn completely from their roots and had fallen. The totem pole is lying in the grass, uprooted from its base, and Soos's truck looks completely totalled, looking like it had been lifted to a great height and carelessly dropped, and considering the weird gravity anomalies down in the bunker, that's probably exactly what happened.

 _How are we going to get home with Soos's truck like this? How far does this damage even go? Is the rest of the town OK? Did Stan know he'd cause this much damage? Of course he did. He even said he knew there were risks._

"I guess the anti-gravity affected more than the portal room and the Shack," Mabel murmurs, looking behind her at the Shack, gaping in shock.

"You think?" Dipper snaps miserably, "And Gru—Stanley knew...he knew that this would happen…are you happy now Mabel?"

Mabel seems to stumble backwards, looking like she's overtaken with dizziness and Dipper has to fight to resist his instinctive need to make sure she's OK. _She's fine,_ he tells himself.

"Dipper please…" she whispers meekly, "don't. Don't pin this on me."

"This wouldn't have happened if you shut the machine off," he accuses her.

"Dipper I…I did what I thought was right!" she protests, her eyes wide and glistening, a clear window to her soul and he can't look her in the eyes, because he's too angry and if he allows himself to acknowledge the pain in her eyes he'd lose the fight and he's not ready to forfeit, not when there's still so much he has to say and be angry about.

"Trusting a con man? A liar and a thief? Over reason, over everything? Trusting him instead of me?" he hisses, "That sound right to you?"

"You didn't see it, did you? The look in his eyes…no matter what the outcome, he did it for his brother," Mabel sobs, "Do you think Grunkle Stan _wanted_ this to happen?"

"Dudes, maybe now's not the best time to be fighting like this?" Soos chuckles nervously, gently leading them away from the severely damaged Mystery Shack, "We've got bigger things to worry about right now. Like how are we going to get out of here with my truck looking like this?"

"Can you fix it?" Dipper asks he follows Soos to the truck, leaving Mabel behind to wallow in self-pity. Let her think about her actions and hopefully learn that there's a time and place to put blind faith in someone, and when the whole world is at stake, maybe she should listen to her _head_ next time.

"Yeah but it would take time we don't have, and I'll probably have to replace some parts…" Soos shakes his head, uncertain.

"Then what do we do now?"

Soos doesn't get to answer because the Mystery Shack suddenly creaks and groans, catching their attention. He turns to look and his eyes widen in shock as he looks at the Shack from the outside for the first time since the Portal. "It looks…it looks worse than I thought from out here!" he exclaims, realizing the whole thing is on a slant, looking like it had been torn right off its foundation and dropped carelessly back in place, the roof doesn't even look like its fully attached either. _No wonder Soos was in such a hurry to get us out of there…_

 _Grunkle Stan…he's still inside…_ he thinks, frozen in place as he looks at the damaged structure, barely registering the fact that Mabel is heading towards it, looking like she's on a mission.

Soos runs after her and catches her, wrapping his arms around her pulling her back, "Woah, you can't go back in there Hambone, it's too dangerous!"

"But Grunkle Stan's still in there!" she gasps, pain etched in her pale face as she tries to fight back, "We can't leave him behind! We have to—"

Then it happens. _No, no, no… this can't be happening…_ It starts with a loud crack, and then another and then another and the building groans and moans and begins to tilt until finally the Mystery Shack collapses into a heap of dust, wood, and tacky overpriced souvenirs.

"GRUNKLE STAN!" Mabel shrieks in horror, struggling with all she has to break free from Soos's grip.

Dipper feels dizzy from shock and he takes a few steps forward, the whole thing seems unreal as he watches the dust begin to settle. Mabel is in hysterics, Soos is trying to calm her down, and the place that had been their home the last two months…gone in the blink of an eye. And Stanford is still inside.

 _No, no, no…_ he thinks, unable to comprehend what just happened. He can hear Soos try and comfort Mabel, trying to reassure her that Stan is fine because he's safe in the bunker underground, but it doesn't seem to help.

"But what if he's trapped? What if he can't get out? What if he's not under there anymore and…" she gasps in realization, "Waddles! Waddles was in there too! I have to make sure they're OK!"

When she mentions Waddles, it pushes him forward. He might be angry with his sister, but it doesn't mean he wants her to have to lose her pig. Deep down he knows how overwhelming it must be for her, to have the world on her shoulders and to know she made the wrong choice. It's no wonder she's so pale and out of sorts, it had to be a huge burden on her shoulders. It does little to lessen his anger, at least right now, but it doesn't mean he's completely heartless. He's kind of indifferent to Waddles for the most part, but for Mabel's sake, he hopes the pig is OK. Same with Stanley, because the thought of him perishing in the collapse is equally unacceptable.

"It's still not safe Mabel—Dipper! Dipper you need to stay back!" Soos releases Mabel with one hand to reach for Dipper who slowly steps towards the remains of the Shack in shock, one foot at a time.

"Grunkle Stan?" Dipper calls, shaking off Soos who grabs his shoulder. _Don't be dead, don't be dead…I'm supposed to be mad at you and you can't be dead. If you die I will_ never _forgive you. Please don't be dead…_ He steps closer until he's at the edge of the rubble that was once the Gift Shop and bends over to pick up part of the sign that once rested above the door, ignoring Soos's call for him to get away from the unsafe rubble.

"Dipper do you see anything?" Mabel asks weakly, resigned to stay away from the remains of the Shack.

"I…I don't know…" he stammers, seeing an opening in the rubble, his heart sinking when he sees the vending machine is blocking the entrance to the secret bunker, and he's not sure it can be easily moved without disrupting the precarious balance of the remains and causing more damage, "I can get inside though and take a look, there's room to move around…sorta…"

"Don't you dare!" Soos exclaims, "I'll look, but you dudes need to stay out here. Please!"

Dipper turns to face them, a little frantic, "I can see the vending machine, there's no way he can get through there."

"He's trapped!" Mabel cries, "If he's still down there then…"

"He'll be fine," Soos promises, though he looks doubtful, "I bet he's stocked up on tons of supplies and is probably in a better position than we are dudes. I bet he can live down there for a long time until we can get him out."

"And Waddles?" Mabel squeaks, wrapping her arms around herself almost protectively as she falls to her knees in despair.

Dipper has to fight to resist the urge to go to her and comfort her because he can't stand to see her upset, but he can't ignore the fact that she's partially to blame for all this either. He knows she never wanted this to happen, but she had no reason to think everything would be OK when she chose to trust Stanley, not with all the evidence they had gathered against him. She should've known better.

 _What am I supposed to do? What do I say?_

"For all we know he's not in there at all, maybe he got out and wandered off," Dipper offers weakly as Soos joins him at the edge of the rubble. "I'm sure he's fine. They're both…they're both fine."

 _Oh I hope I'm right…_

Mabel nods, choking back a sob. She turns away from them, looking completely lost and torn and white as a ghost.

 _Are you happy now?_

"It's my fault," she whispers weakly, her whole body trembling.

 _Damn right it is,_ Dipper can't help but think in agreement as he fights the urge to comfort her and ignores the nagging voice in the back of his mind telling him he should be worried. _She's fine…she's fine….Stanley and Waddles are OK…she's just overwhelmed with guilt…that's all…she's fine. She's just trying to make me crack and sympathize with her when it's_ her _fault, when_ she's _the one who betrayed me by taking Stanley's side! I know she never wanted this to happen, but she should've known better!_

Suddenly she doubles over with a sob and gags painfully. On her hands and knees, she clutches at the grass and dirt and begins to vomit.

 _She's OK...it's just...stress is all. She's fine,_ he thinks, while that nagging voice in the back of his mind goes, _Yeah, you keep telling yourself that._

* * *

A/N Thanks for reading! I really hope that I made Dipper seem real and justified with his anger without making him look like a complete jerk considering I can sympathize with the others too. Getting into angry!Dipper's head after already writing Mabel's side of the story was quite a challenge because I love both character so much and I hate to see them fight and this is a side of Dipper that I have a hard time exploring. Bottom line, I hope he's still in character (that goes for the other too).

Remember folks, a kiss on the hand might be quite continental, but reviews are a girl's best friend! I'd love to hear what you think, good or bad, thoughts and theories etc. Have a great day!


	3. All Fall Down

A/N Thanks for the wonderful reviews guys! My muse is very happy which seems to make me type faster. Hmmm...

xJellybeanns2 and shootingstar34: Ah yes, the feels, the feels! That means I'm doing my job right so I'm happy that I hit ya right in them there feels! Thanks for the reviews guys! I'm so glad you're enjoying this.

gravityfalls22: I have to say I liked that part too. In "Mabel's Choice" I tried to make it clear that despite his anger he's still concerned (like when he calls him Grunkle after renouncing him as such) but I'm not sure it came through very well so I was glad to show it from his POV so we can see that he's furious but it doesn't mean he wants anything bad to happen to Stan either. And the reason he's acting so sour as you put it, it's because he's so angry and conflicted, that he's not thinking rationally and he's acting out because knowing and understanding why Stan did what he did doesn't change how betrayed he feels by his actions. And as you said, he knows Stan cares about him, so Dipper is struggling to reconcile the fact that despite this he went ahead and built something so dangerous anyway. I'm glad I've managed to redeem his rather jerky behaviour by showing his POV. And I'm not saying nothing about Bill. You're just gonna have to wait and see. :-P

Effervescent Dreamer: Aw, thanks for the wonderful compliment. I love all these characters so much, so even when they're in the wrong, I still want to be able to sympathize with them and their POV so I'm glad that manages to show in my writing. Well, this chapter coming up, since it's the one you're waiting for I hope it doesn't disappoint.

 _Edit 7/29/2015 to include identity switch between the Stans._

Well folks, here it is, the next chapter!

* * *

 **All Fall Down**

Dipper and Soos are both rooted in place when Mabel stops heaving, choking back a sob as she covers her mess with dirt and snakes her arm around her middle as she unsteadily pushes herself to her feet. She looks so lost and pathetic that Dipper stares a moment, trying to gauge if she's going to be OK. He's genuinely unsure and so he swallows back his anger for a moment and rushes to her side when she tilts precariously, looking like she might fall.

"Mabel, are you OK?" he asks grasping her by the arm to help steady her. She nods quickly, though her pale face and red watery eyes tell another story and she has a look on her face that says she's not sure if she's done yet throwing up yet. "You sure? You look really pale, what's wrong?"

She swallows a couple of times, flashing him an obviously fake grin, "I think I overdid it with the popsicles this morning. I'm OK, just…so much going on, y'know? I think the stress of it all…it's getting to me."

 _Just as I thought,_ he thinks, kind of relieved that that's all it is. In the back of his mind he'd been worried there might be something seriously wrong, so he's glad that it was just paranoia talking. "Did puking help?" he asks, recalling a time where he had made himself physically sick with anxiety, and felt a little better after clearing out his system a bit.

"I think so?"

"You don't sound like you're sure."

"I'm fine, I…I'm just regretting not having any solid food today besides sugar," she replies shakily, and he's still not entirely convinced even though it seems logical. It wouldn't be the first time she made herself sick from too much sugar and probably won't be the last. But considering all they had been through, and with Stan and Waddles missing and the Mystery Shack _gone_ , and the fact that _she_ let it happen, whether she intended it to happen or not, it's not surprising that she'd be stressed to the point of making herself sick.

 _Well, it's your own fault you feel like crap,_ he thinks, his anger and disappointment at his sister creeping in now that he's convinced that she's OK. He starts to turn away and join Soos by the remains of the Gift Shop, but she stops him.

"I think I'm still a little off balance from when gravity was going all weird," she adds quickly with a small, nervous laugh, "but then again who isn't?"

Dipper's stomach lurches at the thought that there might be more to it, "What do you mean?" he asks curiously. It was a strange sensation, being weightless in that room, but it didn't take him long to recover once the dust settled and everything returned to normal.

"You know, the energy from the portal, the messed up gravity…you felt it too right?"

"I guess," he shrugs, though his heart is racing because the energy in the room _did_ feel a little off, but it wasn't anything crazy. If anything it was getting tossed around that hurt the most, but she didn't get thrown across the room like he and the others did. On the other hand, he wasn't right next to the Portal like she was... "I'll probably have some colorful bruises tomorrow but…I'm still not sure what you're talking about."

"OK, so just me then?"

"Mabel you're being weird," he frowns— _Come on sis, stop being so vague! Should I be worried? Because I'm starting to get worried and how am I supposed to be worried about you when I'm still so angry?—_ "You didn't hurt yourself or hit your head or something down there did you?"

"Not sure," she shrugs tiredly, "but I'm fine, really. I think throwing up helped."

Dipper sighs, both relieved and annoyed even though she's clearly trying to deflect his concerns. But it can't be _that_ bad, so if she says she's fine he's not going to argue. _You only brought this on yourself,_ he thinks, rolling his eyes, freely allowing himself to resume being angry with her, still struggling to fathom how she could choose to trust Stan over him when the world was at stake.

Stan lied to them and betrayed them by keeping it all a secret, even after learning that Dipper had Journal #3 and was looking for the Author, and he activated the Portal _knowing_ that he'd be risking the world. It said so right there in the Journals, and looking at the damage all around them, it's possible that the world isn't out of danger yet. And by taking Stan's side, despite _knowing_ all this, Mabel crossed a line. Big time.

 _When have I_ ever _given you reason not to trust me?_ Dipper thinks as he heads back towards the fallen Mystery Shack to join Soos who had crawled through an opening of the rubble in hopes of maybe rescuing Stanley from the bunker.

When Dipper reaches the opening Soos climbs out tossing him a bottle of water. "Here, give her this. Rescued it from the vending machine…or what's left of it."

Dipper sighs, almost petulantly and brings it to her. She still seems a little unsteady so maybe it's better if she stays put and takes it easy for a minute.

"Thanks," Mabel murmurs softly as she takes it from him. She opens the bottle with trembling fingers and rinses her mouth before asking with a small quivering voice, "Any sign of Waddles or Stan?"

Soos looks a little distraught as he shakes his head, "The opening to the basement is completely caved in. Until we clear some of the rubble, he's stuck down there."

"Assuming he's still down there and he's not hurt or worse," she sniffs.

 _No, he's down there and he's fine. He has to be!_ Dipper thinks, refusing to accept any other possibility as he looks around again at the damage to the forest, to the Mystery Shack and the anger within him festers and boils closer and closer to the surface. Dipper clenches his fists, trying to keep it under control but he's practically shaking. The more and more he thinks about it, the harder it is for him to contain his fury. _He knew this would happen…he knew it and he did it anyway. And he_ has _to be OK or I'll never forgive him!_

"And I'm sorry Hambone," Soos says, genuinely regretful, "I can't see any sign of Waddles anywhere."

Mabel closes her eyes and nods, hugging herself as she stifles a sob, "Maybe he got outside…he's probably fine, right?"

"Yeah, of course he is!" Soos replies, flashing a smile that rings false and she returns the smile, but it's small and empty and Dipper can see her heart is breaking as she bows her head in silence.

 _Oh Mabel,_ he thinks, so conflicted because he's still so mad at her but he can't stand to see her upset, and she looks terrible and has clearly accepted that Waddles is most likely gone. She might've been foolish for listening to her heart instead of her head, but it's not fair that Waddles had to be a casualty of all this chaos, it's not fair that she'd have to lose her beloved pet that she loved so much. _Oh I hope that stupid pig turns up alive and well somehow…_

 _This is all Stan's fault…._ he thinks furiously, because none of this would've happened if it weren't for him. If he just _told_ them… _And all this time…he knew the risks and he kept everything from us, if he told us…at the very least we could've done something to prevent all_ this _!_ _I thought he cared about us, but he couldn't even bother to warn us about this thing that could've easily killed us all! He_ had _to have known something like this would happen!_

"But Mr. Pines…" Soos sighs, shaking his head sadly, "he's a sitting duck down there. I don't have the means to dig him out, and I need to get you dudes home. I'm worried the Government agents will get to him before we do."

"So what if they do?" Dipper mutters. He realizes that Stan was only trying to get his brother back, but was it worth the risk? Was it worth risking the whole world? The Mystery Shack is destroyed, the forest is destroyed and who knows how far the destruction even goes? And what of Ford's warning that opening the Portal was only the beginning of the end? Who knows what else might've come through the Portal while they were all unconscious?

"Dipper!" Mabel exclaims, "How can you _say_ that?"

"Because he deserves it?" Dipper shrugs, surprising himself with his callousness, but the more he dwells on what Stan did and how easily all this devastation all around them could've been prevented, the harder it is for him to care. "He's a criminal, look at the damage he caused! They had every right to go after him in the first place!"

"But he's our Grunkle!"

"No, he's _your_ Grunkle, Stan may be related by blood, but he's _not_ my family!" Dipper snaps.

"And you think he'll be able to do anything to redeem himself or fix his mistakes behind bars?" Mabel asks, tears falling down her cheeks. "If Ford was right, how is he going to even try and stop whatever might be coming if he's rotting in prison? He lied to us, yeah, and he endangered us and put so much on the line, but it was to save his brother!"

"And look how great that turned out! Ford's a jerk, he _threatened_ you, he treated me like dirt and made it clear that it was a mistake for Stan to bring him back!"

"But Grunkle Stan didn't know that!"

"Ugh, after everything that's happened I can't believe you're still taking his side!" Dipper groans, gesturing grandly to the fallen Mystery Shack and the torn up forest. _Why couldn't you have listened to me? I'm your twin! I've_ never _given you a reason not to trust me!_

"I'm not taking sides!"

"Yes you are! You should have hit the damn button Mabel, none of this would've happened!"

Mabel stumbles dizzily back a few steps, swaying where she stands as she wraps her arms around herself and chokes back a sob. For a moment no one says anything but then Mabel looks him in the eyes, tears leaving wet trails down her pale cheeks as she finally asks, "What if it was me, Dipper?"

"Huh?"

She takes a step forward, "What if I was the one lost; trapped who knows where? Tell me honestly that you wouldn't risk _everything_ to get me back!"

 _No fair, no fair! How could you ask me that?_

He goes quiet, unable to answer. He doesn't even want to _imagine_ what that scenario would be like. No matter how angry he is with her, she's his other half and he can't bear the thought of losing her.

"Tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing for me!" she demands, her eyes wide and pleading as she takes another step forward, hugging herself tighter.

 _Don't you realize how unfair that question is? There's no way I can answer that without sounding like a hypocrite or a jerk!_ She's right, she's so, _so_ right, but nonetheless he can't help but still feel so hurt and betrayed because if Stan just told him everything, if Mabel just turned off the machine, if Ford wasn't so nasty, if they just _trusted_ him maybe things would've been different. But looking around at everything Stan's actions had caused, there's no justifying risking the world and yet she's still _right_! And it's not _fair_!

"It's not the same," he says finally, cringing because he knows exactly how weak of a response it is. But she's made her point, loud and clear and there's nothing else he can say to that.

"You think so, huh?" Mabel asks, raising a skeptical brow before she turns around and starts to walk away from him.

Dipper glances at Soos who looks away awkwardly, clearly not wanting to get involved. Not that he can blame him.

A heavy silence presses down on them and Dipper kicks at the ground from where he stands as Mabel keeps walking. In the distance he can hear sirens and he can't help but wonder worriedly just how far the damage went.

 _OK, so Stan wanted to save his brother, I can see that, OK? I get it. But at what cost? Besides…_ "No matter what Stan's intentions were, you didn't know that!" Dipper calls after her angrily and she stops in her tracks, "All you knew is that you could have destroyed the universe! You knew that, you knew Stan was a lying, thieving con artist with a Doomsday device and yet you still chose to trust him instead of me!"

"That's not true!" Mabel snaps, twirling around to face him though she stays rooted in place, "Well, maybe part of it is but it was _never_ a choice between you or Stan, OK?" Dipper can't help but scoff bitterly at that but she ignores him and continues, "If that were the case it would be you, always you! But I _had_ to trust Grunkle Stan, I _had_ to! He was desperate and I couldn't believe, I _still_ can't believe he would do anything to bring us harm on purpose, not without a good reason!"

She hugs herself tighter, a wince of pain crossing her face.

He notices it, but he's too upset to care, "Yeah but if he just told us…if you just shut the machine off then…"

"There's still so much we don't know about that machine, about any of this and I had _seconds_ to decide," she retorts, cutting him off before he can say anything else, practically demanding his attention, "I listened to my heart and maybe it was wrong, but in that moment I _knew_ that Grunkle Stan had never been more honest than when he was asking me to trust him! For all we knew we had it all wrong and pressing the button would've been what destroyed us all!

"The weight of the entire universe was on my shoulders and I only had seconds to decide, don't you get it? And I had no way of knowing what the right answer was and I had to listen to my instincts, I _had_ to because...because…" she stops, her body lurches forward as though she's on the verge of throwing up again, but then she seems to collect herself and swallows a few times before continuing, "Man, Dipper…do you have _any_ idea of how _hard_ it was? Maybe it seemed easy to you but…"

She stops abruptly as her eyes go wide and she suddenly turns away and gags, doubling over and breaking into violent heaves.

Dipper winces in sympathy, having to look away. He resists his instinctive urge to help her through this vomiting spell, because not only is he still so angry, but with both their emotions running so high, he's not even sure if she'd _want_ it. When she walked away, distancing herself from them with such purpose, she made it clear she needed her space.

When she's done heaving she gives a shrill growl of frustration, wiping her mouth with her hand as she slowly turns around to meet Dipper's gaze. Her eyes are red from crying, her face pale save a slight flush to her cheeks. She looks completely distraught and it breaks his heart to see her like that, the fact she brought it on herself doesn't matter. With her clearly feeling like crap, he pushes his anger aside, willing to resume their fight when she's feeling better and they've both had a chance to calm down and think more clearly and there isn't so much happening at once. But before he can call a temporary truce, her gaze shifts to look past them and her eyes widen with recognition and relief.

"Grunkle Stan!" she gasps in surprise, swaying unsteadily, stumbling to keep her balance.

Dipper and Soos both turn around to follow her line of sight and he stiffens with uncertainty when he sees Stan heading in their direction, looking a little dishevelled but completely fine. Dipper's not sure if he should be relieved or infuriated by this fact because he _had_ been so worried about him, and so angry. _I was so scared you were seriously hurt or dead, at the very least trapped and this whole time you were fine?_ Dipper's glad he's OK, but at the same time… _How dare you scare us like that?_

Stan heads towards them looking relieved to see they're OK, his eyes frustratingly sincere in his relief. But then he looks to the remains of the fallen Mystery Shack and his shoulders sag, his steps heavy as he moves towards the remains of what had been his home, heartbreak clearly etched in his face.

"How…?" Dipper asks, somewhat thrown by the expression on his face because Stan looks completely shocked to see his home now a pile of rubble and memories. But he _had_ to have known something like that would happen. He even _admitted_ that he knew there were risks.

"Emergency escape hatch in the woods," he explains quietly, "it only opens from the inside."

 _Of_ course _there is!_

"What are you guys still doing here?" Stan asks.

"Can't go very far until I fix my truck or find another means of transportation that isn't destroyed," Soos says, shaking his head. Dipper's kind of surprised to see that even Soos looks angry with him, though to a lesser extent. More hurt than anything, though also clearly relieved.

Stan looks around at the damage in awe, his eyes full with regret as he approaches the remains of the Shack with disbelief, his shoulders drooping with defeat, "I can't believe it's gone. My….my home, my life…"

 _But you said you knew the risks, you should've_ known _this would happen? Didn't you?_

"Did you know this would happen?" Dipper demands, sounding harsher than he intended, "You owe us an explanation, _now_ Stanley! Tell us _everything_!"

"As I said to Mabel, I'll tell you everything you need to know and soon," Stan replies, holding his hands up placatingly, "but first things first I have to get you kids away from here."

"Why, _we're_ not the ones wanted by the government agents!" Dipper retorts, exasperated and confused, "You are!"

"It's not just that Dipper…please!" Stan begs, "I can't do anything else until I know you kids are safe and the only way that can happen is to get you out of Gravity Falls before…"

"Before what?"

"Before something bad happens to you!" Stan snaps, his eyes glistening with sorrow and desperation, "If something got through the Portal, if Ford's right about me kick-starting the apocalypse…this is my problem to fix and I don't want you kids getting hurt!"

 _Really? Maybe you should've thought of that_ before _you built that thing and activated it! Because I think you're a little late for that!_

"Soos," Stan turns to his handyman, and Dipper uses that distraction to wipe the tears forming in his eyes, "I need you to get these kids and yourself to safety, can you fix your truck?"

"I don't have the time or resources to…"

"What about my car?"

"Look around you!" Dipper hisses furiously, "Do you think your car would be in any better shape than Soos's truck?"

Stan pinches the bridge of his nose, "Look kid, I screwed up. Maybe I shouldn't have lied to you but…"

"Guys!" Mabel cuts in, her voice sounding incredibly weak, like it took a lot of effort to raise her voice loud enough for it to reach them. He turns towards the sound, his heart pounding. She's swaying where she stands, her arms still wrapped protectively around herself, her body hunched over in pain, "Please stop…fighting…" she begs shakily, "s-something's…wrong…"

What little colour she had left in her face seems to melt away as her eyes flutter and roll back. Suddenly she gags, dark red liquid bubbling from her mouth, dribbling down her chin before she jerks forward and more stuff erupts violently from her mouth.

 _Oh man, oh man…is that…is that blood?_

His eyes widen in shock and terror, and for a moment he's frozen in place, unable to move, "Mabel?"

 _No, no, nononono!_

"H-help…m-me…" she chokes out weakly, releasing a strangled cry of agony as her eyes flutter closed and her body sways precariously, her face twisted with pain.

"MABEL!" he cries, launching himself towards her. _No, no, nonono!_

She slowly blinks her eyes open and then closed again as her knees buckle and she's falling. Her skin taking on a ghastly pale grey colour as she falls and he pushes himself harder to reach her and catch her but he's not fast enough. She drops to the ground like a marionette with its strings cut, landing with a hard thud, her head bouncing once on the ground before her body goes completely still as he slides in next to her.

"Mabel, hey…hey…" he mutters franticly as he reaches her, patting her ashen cheeks alarmed by how cold and clammy she feels. She's heavy and completely limp as he pulls her away from the pool of blood she had thrown up and he pulls her onto his lap, "No…no…Mabel c'mon stay with me…stay with me…" he shakes her gently but nothing seems to rouse her and he presses trembling fingers to her neck, searching desperately for a pulse.

 _This can't be happening…_

"MABEL!"

* * *

A/N So sorry for the evil cliffie of evil. For those of you also following "Mabel's Choice" this is where we leave familiar ground and head off in a whole new direction. (I also hope to get chapter 12 up soon, hopefully by tomorrow.)

Please let me know what you guys think! I would absolutely LOVE to hear from you guys so if you're reading this please give me a quick shout. Are you reading both stories or just this one, do you have any thoughts or theories or even suggestions and criticisms? It would mean a lot to me if you'd share and it feeds the muse.


	4. What Needs to be Done

A/N So, so sorry for the delay! Writer's block had taken over me and I'm trying to focus more on "Mabel's Choice" until it's done. I kind of jumped the gun on this one, got a little too excited and uploaded this before I was ready. I probably should have waited until "Mabel's Choice" was completed before uploading this because it's hard to keep up with everything. Well, live and learn I guess. Because of this, I'm afraid updates won't be as frequent as I'd like, but I'm going to do my best to keep the chapters coming at a reasonable rate.

Thanks to my reviewers!

-Guest: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you like it!

-Effervescent Dreamer: Honestly, I haven't watched the new episode yet but I hope Dipper's not as angry as he tends to be in a lot of NWHS fanfics. I think he might actually be too happy to finally meet the author to stay angry for long, but who knows? (Except of course those who HAVE seen the new episode-please don't spoil me guys!) There's so many ways he can go as far as reactions go (and in "Mabel's Choice" something happens that brings a much different and far more understanding reaction from him) and to be honest, I don't want to see angry!Dipper for too long unless it's earned. Here, he's angry because he was already furious before the Portal opened (and rightfully so) but then he meets the Author, and learns that his hero, the guy he idolized for so long is a jerk which would be in of itself a crushing blow for someone like Dipper, and then everything starts to fall apart in more ways than one which only fuels his anger. If the Author turned out to be a nice guy and the consequences didn't turn out to be all bad, I'd assume that Dipper would quickly get over it and move on and I really hope that's how it turns out. Fingers crossed, though I'm worried because Alex said Dipper's going to feel isolated from his family and the picture of Dipper and Mabel breaking when they're floating suggests foreshadowing that the twins might drift apart and again, if that's true, I hope it doesn't last long.

But anyway, I digress... You make an excellent point about Dipper not being completely innocent either because yeah, he raised the dead to prove a point. But there's a reason I chose to call this "Made Me Realize" besides the fact it shares a name with the theme song. Let's just say Dipper's going to have a lot of time to think and well...get out of my head! :-D Anyway, thanks so much for the review! I'm really glad you like this and that you like my writing style, that you can visualize it and stuff and that I can somehow capture emotion well. As for tips on writing emotion? I don't really know. When I write, I try and put myself in the character's head and put myself in their shoes and think like the characters while doing so. Honestly, this may sound weird, I think I get a lot of it from acting experience and classes. I kind role play in my head as I write, does that make sense? I'm not sure how else to explain it. No one's really asked for writing tips before. I feel pretty honoured! Thanks!

-shootingstr34: Thanks as always for the review! All of them. I'm glad you like both stories and I'm sorry for the slow update here.

-gravityfalls22: Oh you! Thanks so much for the reviews and chats. I love them! I kind of like exploring the same story from two different perspectives, because it shows that people are too complicated. I think it's important to see the other point of view in real life too, especially during conflict. Anyway, I felt Dipper looked like a jerk in "Mabel's Choice" and I was happy to redeem him here by showing his POV because the poor kid was suffering a crushing betrayal, his idol turned out to be a jerk (at least from his perspective) and everything around him is falling apart and he doesn't know what else to do besides lash out. Also, it's good to see the good in people, it's a great quality to have! As for Dipper's jerky behaviour in "Scary-oke" I think was not just to prove a point, but also because of his own insecurities and need for people to take him seriously and here he was so desperate for the agents to take him seriously that he did something stupid without thinking things through as kids tend to do. At least he learned his lesson in the end, when he and Mabel were about to be devoured by zombies...

-InsaneKitten994: Thanks for the review! I'm really glad you like it. And good question. Where _is_ a Waddles when you need one? I really wish the Disney store would come out with a Waddles plushie, I'd so buy it in a heartbeat!

-xJellybeanns2: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you like this! Sorry for the evil cliffie of evil.

-SkyDancerTeenTitanLover: Well that's...kinda dark... thanks for the comment!

-atsukko: Umm...I don't know what you said but thanks!

-Kayleigh1789: My other stories will return from their hiatus once this and "Mabel's Choice" is done. I promise. They haven't been forgotten, I'm excited to finish them actually but I just need to focus on these first because I was hoping (though obviously I did not succeed) to finish these before the new episodes but what can you do? Thanks to NWHS, my muse is forcing me to focus primarily on this and "Mabel's Choice". I'm really happy that you like all my stories. Thanks for the reviews!

 _Edit 7/29/2015 to include the identity switch between the Stans now that I've watched the episode. :-)_

Well, without further ado, here's the next chapter! It didn't turn out quite like I wanted it to, and was such a struggle for me to write, but I hope it was worth the wait!

* * *

 **What Needs to be Done**

It's funny how much life can drastically change in just one moment.

Like the moment Dipper found the journal. It made him realize that the weirdness that he suspected was happening was in fact real, that he wasn't just some paranoid kid, it was real.

Or the moment he jumped off a cliff to stop Gideon who had stolen the Mystery Shack, built a giant robot and kidnapped his sister. It made him realize he didn't need the journal to be a hero.

Or the moment he decided to tell Stan about the journal. It made him realize, that it was foolish to think Grunkle Stan would ever take him seriously.

Or the moment they discovered Stan had the other journals and had lied to them all summer, and built a device that could tear the world apart. It made him realize that the journal was right: In Gravity Falls there's no one you can trust. And the moment Mabel let go of the off switch it made him realize that he can't even trust his own twin sister.

But none of that mattered the moment Mabel hit the ground into a motionless, lifeless heap. It made him realize that no matter what happened before, and whatever might happen now or in the future is all meaningless. Without Mabel, what's the point? She's the most important person in the world to him.

"MABEL!" he cries, cradling her lifeless and limp body in his arms. After some searching he finally finds a pulse, rapid and weak but it's only a small relief. "She's so cold…" he murmurs, shaking her gently but failing to get any response, "Mabel!" he chokes on a sob, unable to take his eyes off her, still shocked by her sudden collapse. _I don't understand, she seemed fine! Shaken up, sure, but fine!_ "What's wrong with her?" he asks, his voice not much more than a whimper.

Stan and Soos watch for a moment, both just as shocked as Dipper. Stan rushes up to them, "Let me see her…"

He's too stunned to really notice his Grunkle approaching, the world around them doesn't exist right now, only him and Mabel, his twin sister, his best friend…and he's losing her. He pulls her close to him, her voice echoing through his mind.

 _What if it was me? What if I was the one lost?_

 _Why'd you have to ask that Mabel?_

"Dipper…" Stan says quietly, kneeling next to them as he reaches for Mabel.

"No…" Dipper flinches, weakly pulling her away, "What are you doing?"

"I need to check for injuries, she needs help," Stan's voice breaks as he speaks, his eyes darting briefly towards the pool of blood Mabel had thrown up before collapsing.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" he snaps, his heart breaking with fury and Stan backs away, "You hear me? Stay away from us!"

"Dipper _please_!" he begs, "You think I wanted this to happen? Let me look at her, let me help her."

"Dipper, let him help dude, please!" Soos cuts in, his voice raw, "If anyone knows what to do, it's Mr. Pines, let him help."

Mabel's head lolls loosely in his arms as he shifts positions slightly adjusting his grip on her, he glances back and forth between the two men, torn. Maybe Stan would know more than anyone else present how to help her, but Dipper can't let go or forget the fact that if it weren't for him, she wouldn't be hurt in the first place.

 _Tell me honestly you wouldn't risk_ everything _to get me back!_

"Soos, she looks like she's going into shock," Stan says, keeping his distance, his eyes wide with worry, he looks to the fallen Shack and then back to Soos, "we need to keep her warm, do you have a blanket or something in your truck?"

"Yeah," Soos nods, "hold on."

Mabel groans softly and Dipper turns his attention back to her, "Mabel please. Hold on… stay with me." He gives her another gentle shake, but she doesn't respond.

Stan tries again to approach them, arms open to show he means no harm, "Dipper, I need to…"

Dipper cradles his sister's body closer to him, protectively, his eyes dark with pain and rage, "I said stay away from us!" he chokes on a sob, pointing an accusing finger, "This is all on you! Don't you get it? This is all your fault! She _trusted_ you man, and…you did this to her!"

Stan flinches at his outburst, "Please kid, I know I lied to you and screwed up big time but…" he squeezes his eyes shut, and Dipper can see tears collecting on his eyelashes, "I never wanted you kids to get hurt. That was the _last_ thing I ever wanted. You weren't supposed to be down there…this wasn't supposed to happen. _Please_. I need to try and see how badly she's injured."

Stan's begging him. Dipper's taken aback by this, because Stan's not the sort to beg, or plead or cry. He reluctantly nods, not letting his sister go but moving so he has access. Stan is by their side in an instant, he gently checks her pulse, places his ear over her chest with a grim frown, opens her eyelids to look at her eyes and gently prods her for any sign of broken bones or anything that could pinpoint what's wrong. He prods her middle and frowns as he carefully lifts her sweater and winces at what he sees.

Dipper glances down at her and is shocked by the dark, dark bruising along her abdomen, covering most of her exposed skin, a dramatically stark contrast to the unnatural and unsettling whiteness of her face. Stan lowers her sweater and shakes his head, cursing under his breath.

"Wh-what's wrong with her?"

"Just what I was afraid of. She's bleeding internally," he surmises, "it looks bad. I can't fix this, there's not much we can do for her here, she needs a hospital, like, _now._ "

"I don't understand…" Dipper says in denial, "she seemed fine! A little nauseous, but fine! She was OK like the rest of us! How…?"

 _Grunkle Stan…I trust you._

 _Mabel are you crazy? We're all gonna—!_

Dipper shudders at the memory, of the bright blinding white light of energy bursting through the Portal, the painful and bizarre sensation as it enveloped the room—and Mabel was right there at the heart of the blast, front and center taking it full force. "Oh man…Mabel…" he chokes out as Soos returns with a blanket and they drape it over her as Stan backs away.

"Soos, I need your phone," he says, "need to call an ambulance."

Soos doesn't hesitate and Stan quickly dials 9-1-1 but the call doesn't go through.

"Dammit! There's no signal!" Stan hisses, kicking at the ground. "The damn anomalies must've affected the service or something. Dammit!" He looks around, at the fallen Shack, at Soos's damaged truck and hopelessness sinks in, hitting them all at once.

"What are we going to do?" Dipper chokes out, "If you can't call an ambulance and Soos's truck and your car is busted…how do we get her to the hospital?"

"I'll check the golf cart!" Soos suggests, "Maybe that still works."

"Hurry Soos," Stan says as the young man runs from view. Stan paces back and forth, pinching the bridge of his nose as he thinks about what to do next. His spots a radio left behind by one of the government agents and picks it up and searches through the channels, finding one that works hearing the voice of Agent Powers barking orders at someone. He turns the device off, a grim and determined expression on his face. "Dipper…"

"Stay away from us," he warns again, coldly, "it's your fault she's hurt and it's your fault we can't get out of here and can't even call for help!"

"I know," Stan nods, "and I'm so sorry."

" _Not good enough!_ " he snaps.

Stan turns away from them, turns his attention to the remains of the Mystery Shack and shakes his head in sadness, looking back at the radio in his hands, a torn expression crossing his face, "I'm going to make it right…"

" _How_?" Dipper hisses.

"I…"

He's interrupted by Soos who drives the cart around the corner. The cart looks badly damaged, but it looks like the damage is mostly cosmetic. But that doesn't matter to Dipper, all that matters is that it _works_.

"Soos!" he exclaims, "You're awesome!"

"I don't know how far it'll get us, dude," Soos says, "but if it gets us closer to town we can probably borrow a working car."

Dipper's about to say something but before he gets that chance Mabel's body suddenly convulses, jerking violently in his grip as she coughs up more blood, crimson liquid bubbling from her mouth, splattering onto her brother's clothes and face. Her body spasms as she chokes and Dipper is frantic. "Mabel, hey!" he cries, rolling her to her side so she doesn't choke to death on her own blood, he feels tears stream down his cheeks as he begs, "Hey, hey, stay with me…please Mabel…please!"

 _No, no, no please don't let this be it! Don't die on me Mabel,_ please _, don't die! You gotta stay with me!_

"We need to hurry," Soos exclaims, his voice strained.

Stan glances at the radio, shaking his head, "There's no way that stinking golf cart is going to get her to the hospital in time. I'm not even sure it'll make it to the main road…"

"Well we have to try _something_!" Dipper sobs angrily, holding his sister tight to try and absorb the tremors, _praying_ that she's not going to die in his arms like this.

"You're right…" Stan nods in agreement.

Mabel's eyes flutter open as she chokes, her eyes blindly seeking his and his heart twists at the pain and desperation reflecting in her eyes, giving him a glimpse at the great battle she's fighting just to stay alive, "Mabel! Hey can you hear me?"

She catches his worried gaze, "D-dipper…" her face contorts with agony as she releases a pained filled cry, "Wr-wrai…" she gasps weakly, her eyes wide as though she's desperately trying to tell him, _warn_ him about something.

 _Ray? Ray? What's that supposed to mean?_

Suddenly her eyes roll back and she seizes.

"Mabel?" he cries frantically, "No! Don't do this Mabel! Stay with me!"

"Keep her on her side so she doesn't choke on her blood!" Stan orders, turning the radio on, "Hold her head so she doesn't bang it on anything!" Dipper doesn't hesitate to do as he says, tearing off his vest and tucking it under her head like a pillow as she shakes violently.

"Mr. Pines?" Soos asks as Stan starts to walk away from them, "What are you doing?"

"What needs to be done," he replies, his voice grim and determined.

Dipper's not really paying attention to them though, all his attention is on Mabel as he tries to help her through the seizure wracking her failing body. _Don't die, don't die, don't die…_ he begs silently, his vision blurry through the tears in his eyes. When she suddenly goes eerily still he places trembling fingers on her cold neck, his heart pounding in terror at the fear that he won't find anything. But even when he does find the rapid and weak pulse, it still all seems too hopeless to allow himself to feel relieved.

"Agent Powers?" Stan meanwhile says into the radio, "Agent Powers, this is Stan Pines. You looking for me? Come and get me."

" _Stanford Pines where are you? How'd you get this radio frequency?"_

He presses the button on the radio and continues, "I'll give you my location and surrender to you on one condition."

" _I'm listening, what are your demands?"_

"You send a medical chopper to the Mystery Shack ASAP. A girl's been seriously injured, you see to it she gets the best, and I mean _best_ possible care she can, got it?"

"Wait, what are you doing Gru—Stanley?" Dipper asks in surprise as it finally hits him just what his Grunkle's plan is.

" _Thanks to you Gravity Falls is currently in a State of Emergency. Do you have any idea how many people are injured because of you? All emergency response teams are busy."_

Stan listens to this and swallows, guilt etched plainly on his face, he presses the button and takes a breath, speaking into the radio again, "You make sure this girl is taken care of, _right now_ , and maybe, just maybe, not only will I give you my location, but I'll tell you _everything_. Where the Doomsday device you're looking for is, and if she lives I might even tell you how to shut it off before an anomaly ten times worse than the one you just experienced a little while ago happens again."

" _That a threat Pines? You don't seem to care about anyone else, why should one little girl matter to you?"_

"It's a _promise_ unless you do this one thing for me _._ Do we have a deal, Agent Powers? Clock's ticking. You don't want to see what happens when my machine runs to its full potential."

There's a pause on the radio while Dipper and Soos gape at Stan in shock. "But…the Portal's busted," Soos murmurs with confusion. "The way you're talking they're going to think you're a…a _terrorist_ or something."

"You think they'd do what I want if they thought the threat was over?" Stan asks him. "You heard what he said, emergency response teams are busy, I don't think he's concerned enough to pull any strings for my sake and this is _Mabel's_ life on the line. She needs help _now_ and I don't want to take the chance that they'll either take too long or ignore my demands completely; this gives them the incentive to act quickly."

"But you're not a terrorist, and that sounds like a confession, so why let them think that? Mr. Pines, you know what happens to terrorists?"

"I do, Soos," Stan swallows hard as he thinks about what he's in for, "but Mabel's more important. You all are. Besides, look at the damage I caused. I need to pay for what I've done."

The radio crackles to life and Agent Powers's voice fills the air, _"You have a deal. What's your location?"_

"Get the girl and her family taken care of first," Stan says into the radio, "Once I know she's in good hands, _then_ I'll tell you where to find me. I swear it. And once I know she's stable, then I'll tell you _everything_ you want to know."

" _Done_."

"And one more thing Agent Powers, her brother and their friend get to stay with her, they're not to be separated, got it?"

" _Fine."_

Everything goes quiet for a long moment as Dipper, Soos and Stan all exchange glances. Dipper can hardly think, overwhelmed by conflicting emotions that throw him into a state of confusion and despair and he doesn't know how to react. Mabel, his best friend in the whole world, his twin sister is practically _dying_ in his arms, his home for the last two months is in ruins, his world is literally crumbling all around him, the _whole world_ might even be in jeopardy, and the person responsible is his own Great Uncle, who took them in for the summer, who obviously cared for them but who also lied to them and kept damaging secrets. If it weren't for him, everything would be fine…but…but it was to save his jerk of a brother…

 _Tell me that you wouldn't do the same for me._

 _Tell me honestly that you wouldn't risk_ everything _to get me back!_

 _Oh Mabel, why'd you have to ask me that?_

Stanley was guilty, there's no denying that. Not even _he_ denies it. And Dipper in his anger wants nothing more than to see him pay for what he did to his sister and yet…and yet now that he just witnessed Stan turn himself in so willingly for no other reason than to hopefully save Mabel's life… _They're not going to understand why he did it,_ he thinks, _yeah I want him to face the consequences of his actions but…he'll be charged for terrorism. He basically confessed and if he's found guilty…he's never going to know freedom ever again! Or worse!_

Grunkle Stan just did it. He risked everything to save Mabel's life.

It's all his fault but...

But…

But…

"Grunkle Stan," he murmurs, "they're going to execute you if you do this!"

"I never wanted you kids to get hurt. I just wanted my brother back," Stan tells him, "I knew it would be dangerous to open the Portal but I never thought in a million years that _this_ would be the outcome. I need to make it right. Mabel needs help like _yesterday_ , and there's no one to blame but me, I should've…I should've done things differently. This is her best chance at survival."

The sound of a helicopter overhead heading their way catches their attention. "Soos, take care of those kids for me! If Ford's right, then bad times are coming and I need you to do whatever you can to protect them," Stan begs, heading for the ruins of the Shack, "Please!"

"I…I will Mr. Pines," Soos nods, "You can count on me."

"I know," Stan replies, "you're a good man, Soos. And Dipper…I know you hate me and I can't say I blame you but…I hope one day you can forgive me."

 _I don't know if I can. Sure, you just turned yourself in to save Mabel but, if it weren't for you she wouldn't need saving…but…_

"When Mabel wakes up, tell her I'm sorry," Stan continues, "I'm so sorry, kids." With that he runs for the ruins, climbing through the rubble of the Gift Shop to hide.

 _But you just wanted to save your brother…I want you to face the consequences but what you just did to save Mabel, what you said to convince them to help her…it's too much. They're not going to understand, they're going to label you a terrorist and the punishment isn't going to fit the crime…_

Dipper cradles Mabel close, releasing a garbled sob as the world suddenly gets ridiculously windy and loud. He squints against the flying dirt and debris to see a helicopter marked with a red cross make a landing, and another one, a black government chopper also coming in for a landing. Soos kneels protectively over the twins to shelter them from the chaotic wind from the two choppers, only looking up when the wind calms and they look to see a team of EMT's jump from the copter and approach them.

Soos pulls a distraught Dipper into his arms as the EMT's pull Mabel away from him and quickly get to work, asking questions about her condition that they can only partially answer, barking orders to each other trying to get her stabilized enough for the trip before loading her onto a stretcher. He can feel Soos tremble around him, clearly just as upset as he is. From the other helicopter Agent Powers and Agent Trigger emerge, both looking a little banged up, followed by two more agents in black. "OK Stanford, the kids are being taken care of, where are you?" Powers yells into his radio.

"You two coming?" one of the EMT's asks Dipper and Soos and they nod, quickly climbing into the emergency helicopter after Mabel. Dipper straps himself in and looks out the window as they begin to take off and watches Stan emerge from his hiding spot, arms in the air.

The agents surround him weapons raised and Stan falls to his knees, hands behind his head. Dipper watches them cuff him and Stan makes no effort to fight back. Dipper's breath quickens as he watches, all the while listening to the EMTs working on Mabel over the loud sound of the chopper. He wants to drown the sound out, because he knows it's bad so he focuses on Stan's arrest, the scene slowly getting smaller and smaller as they get higher and higher.

Suddenly one of the agents slams their baton into the small of Stan's back and he goes sprawling on the ground just as another zaps him with a Taser and they start kicking him while he's down, "No!" Dipper exclaims, crying foul, "That's not right! He's not fighting them, he surrendered peacefully! They have no right to do that!"

"Dipper," Soos chokes out, "Dipper it's OK, we'll figure out how to help him. He'll be OK."

He glances at his friend, sees the tears glistening in the young man's eyes and then looks at Mabel, already hooked up to various wires and tubes that make no sense to him and begs. _Hold on Mabel, please hold on. Don't die, don't die, don't die…_

When he dares look away from her again, the helicopter is hovering high over the town and he looks out the window and his heart sinks at the sight of the pure devastation below and it's now clear as day that the damage from the anomalies reached far beyond the Mystery Shack and surrounding grounds.

 _"In case you didn't notice, the clock reached zero and the world didn't end."_ Stan had told Ford after he emerged from the Portal.

 _"Oh don't you get_ it?" Ford had hissed in return, _"Did you think it would be instantaneous? All you did was kick-start the beginning of the end!"_

 _Oh no…_

The moment he sets his eyes on the crippled town, it makes him realize just how screwed they really are.

* * *

A/N Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think! Your comments really help keep me going, and help me plow through when writer's block makes my brain go blank whenever I get a chance to write. You guys are awesome! I really would love to hear your thoughts and theories and whatnot so please give me a shout! Means the world to me!

Also, THIS IS IMPORTANT! I have NOT watched the latest episode, nor have I even seen any promo for the episode because I'm a MAJOR spoilerphobe. I probably won't get to see it for at least a few more days. I've been living in an internet bubble avoiding spoilers so if you feel compelled to mention anything that happens in a review, please, please, PLEASE don't. I'm sure you won't but it's happened in the past so my paranoid self wants to be safe.


	5. The Waiting Room

A/N So I've finally watched "A Tale of Two Stans" and in light of that, while I'm not changing any of my original plan for their backstory ("Mabel's Choice" goes a bit more into detail about Stan's backstory than this one does so far) after much debate with myself, I am altering two things because of the episode. One, I'm including the identity switch because we're not talking plot here, but the actual identity of the characters and two, I've added Grandpa Shermy because if Stan stole his brother's identity, and the Author was the grandfather, it wouldn't make much sense unless Grunkle Stan was referred to as Grandpa all this time. But other than that, their backstory will be different than the show, this is an AU after all. Anyway, I've edited previous chapters to reflect that, but there are no major changes otherwise.

Thanks to everyone who follows and favorited this, and a special thanks as always to my reviewers.

TMNTGFKittySidekick01: Looks like I decided to update this one first. Mostly it's because of the edits I have to make. This one was tedious, "Mabel's Choice" will take a lot longer to edit in the identity swap, I'm fixing that up before I update that one now. Thanks as always for the reviews, they mean a lot. I'm really happy that you like my stories!

tumblrgirl13D: I'm super happy you like both this and "Mabel's Choice". It's fun writing from two different perspectives, and I love writing Dipper and Mabel so much and when there's conflict...well there's two sides to every story so I like that I'm telling both, especially since they both take off in different directions plotwise. I'd say that I'm sorry to make you cry but, that's also what I'm going for so I guess I'm not sorry at all. In fact I'm glad I made you cry! Muahaha! Seriously, thanks for the wonderful compliments!

shootingstar34: Honestly, that part with Stan turning himself in, it's one of the biggest reasons why I wanted to write this. When I was writing "Mabel's Choice" and she goes into the new timeline, I had the other timeline played out in my head already and felt it needed to be told because I really wanted to play with the possible consequences that could arise when Mabel let the portal open as well as play with the idea of "What if she did shut it down?". I like the idea of how one decision can affect _everything_ but I didn't want to interrupt the flow of Mabel's POV, that's why this story exists, so we can still see the other timeline and the scene with Stan, it had been playing in my head as I wrote it for months now. It was nice to finally get it written down even if it didn't quite turn out the way I wanted it to, as it usually happens. Thanks for being a faithful reviewer as always. Means a lot to me!

Guest: Well, I'm glad you like this but I really did NOT appreciate the spoiler. No, it did NOT need to be said. If it was bothering you, you could've either left it alone or stop reading. You didn't ruin the episode for me, but that was something I really would've liked to have discovered while watching the episode. That's why I specifically asked that no one spoil the episode for me. I went to many lengths to avoid spoilers which included avoiding the promo, and depriving myself of "Gravity Falls" related stuff online. I managed to go for months without a single spoiler aside from the episode title and a few screenshots then you spoiled it literally a day before I got the chance to watch. It wasn't a major spoiler, but a spoiler nonetheless, stemming from a theory that I heard a long time ago that I didn't want to be true which made me lose my enthusiasm for watching the episode. Now that I saw it, I'm OK with it, but yeah... It's OK, I forgive you and again, the episode wasn't ruined because of it-that would be silly because it was awesome, but PLEASE, next time someone asks not to be spoiled for something, anything, PLEASE don't do it. Aside from that, thanks for the review. Now that I got that off my chest, we're good, I don't hold grudges. :-)

Effervescent Dreamer: Making things sad is my specialty I think. Seems to be the trend... anyway, yeah, what Mabel said to Dipper is something he's going to have to figure out on his own despite her best efforts to warn him. As for the Author, (who I still want to call Stanley...) you're right about what happened to him. He stormed off after acting like a jerk, and disappeared with the journals prior to the collapse of the Mystery Shack. But you'll find out what happened to him and what he was up to eventually. Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad you like this!

Kayleigh1789: Thanks for understanding and your patience. I can get in over my head sometimes. Thanks for the reviews! I'm happy you like my stories!

Well, here it is, the next chapter! Enjoy!

* * *

 **The Waiting Room**

 _Mabel looked out the window and grinned happily, humming to herself as she watched the redwoods whizz by. "I think this is going to be the greatest most awesomest summer ever, don't you?" she asked, turning to Dipper who sat in the aisle seat next to her._

" _I still don't understand why mom and dad decided it would be a good idea to exile us to some dumb town with some great uncle we never met," Dipper frowned, sulking a little. "It's going to be so boring. I bet he doesn't even have internet access or cable."_

 _Mabel blew a raspberry, "Aw cheer up Mr. Grumpy Face, it won't be boring unless you_ make _it boring. You know what's boring?"_

" _What?"_

" _Boring!" she giggled, "Check it out, Boring Oregon, next exit." She pointed to the road sign as it flew by._

" _Creative," Dipper quipped sullenly, "how much you wanna bet that Gravity Falls will be just as boring as Boring?"_

 _Mabel started laughing, "Boring, boring, boring…say it often enough it starts to sound kinda funny!" she stifled a giggle, "Mmmph, boooorrringgg! Boring, boring, boring!"_

 _She said the word drastically differently each time she said it and finally Dipper couldn't help himself and he laughed, "Oh man, Mabel you are such a dork! I am so embarrassed to have you as a sister right now!"_

" _Right now? How do you think_ I _feel like,_ all _the time having you as a brother, broseph?"_

" _I swear we are_ not _related!" Dipper chuckled, announcing to the practically empty bus. One of the few passengers on the bus turned around and gave them a dirty look and they crouched low in their seats and giggled._

" _This summer is going to be fun," Mabel decided, "I mean, think about it. We're free of Mom and Dad for the summer, which means I'm free to pursue the greatest epic summer romance since the dawn of summers without having to worry about Mom and Dad getting in the way and being super embarrassing and stuff."_

 _Dipper scoffed with amusement, "Really Mabel? 'Epic summer romance'?"_

 _Mabel shrugged, "Why not?"_

" _I wonder what Great Uncle Stanford will be like?" Dipper wondered with a sigh._

" _Grunkle."_

" _What?"_

" _Grunkle. You know, Great Uncle shortened. Sounds better."_

" _You're so weird," Dipper rolled his eyes with a grin._

" _You know it bro-bro!"_

" _Dad said he runs a small tourist business," Dipper said, "I guess that_ could _be interesting, but what kind of tourist attraction would you find in the Middle of Nowhere, Oregon?"_

 _Mabel shrugged, "I have no idea but I think Grunkle Stanford will be nice."_

" _I hope so," Dipper frowned, glancing past Mabel and out the window, swallowing with apprehension. Truth was, he was scared. They'd never been away from home for so long, and certainly not without their parents. What if Great Uncle—Grunkle Stanford was some nasty and mean guy? What would they do in the middle of nowhere if something went wrong? He was old, right? What if he like, had a heart attack or something? What if one of them got sick? What if there was nothing to do there? What if? What if? What if? There were so many ways that things could to horribly wrong, so many ways that summer could be ruined completely…_

" _Hey," Mabel said softly, nudging him with her shoulder, "if it makes you feel any better, I'm kinda nervous too."_

" _Really?"_

" _Yeah," Mabel exclaimed, "of course I am! We're spending the entire summer with some guy we never even met! That's like, super crazy! So yeah, I'm nervous. Excited, but nervous. I just tell myself that Mom and Dad wouldn't send us here if he was like,_ bad _or whatever, so he's probably some lonely old guy who will be thrilled to have the company and who knows, he could be really fun."_

" _I hope so," he sighed, unable to shake his nervousness. "He can just as easily be this cranky old jerk who's really mean and will lock us in his attic and put us to work all summer without giving us a break and beat us or something if we screw up."_

 _Mabel frowned before she grinned and playfully punched him in the shoulder, "Well, no matter what happens, at least we have each other, right?"_

 _Dipper grinned, "Yeah."_

" _You know what this means!" Mabel declared, turning to face him and holding out her hands._

" _Beep, bop, bibbledy-boop, TWIIINNSS!" they said in unison, doing their secret handshake, finishing off with a big raspberry which sent them into a fit of giggles._

 _The same passengers as before turned around and shot them another dirty look and Dipper whispered, "Sorry!" before they both ducked down low in their seats and Mabel rolled her eyes, flashing him a wide braces filled smile. Dipper returned the smile and together they finished the last leg of their journey into the unknown._

 _Sure, Dipper had no idea what to expect, but Mabel was right. At least they had each other._

/o\

" _Grunkle Stan, I don't even know if you're my Grunkle! I want to believe you but…"_

" _Then listen to me, remember this morning when I said I wanted to tell you something? I wanted to say that you're going to hear some bad things about me and some of them are true. But trust me, everything I've worked for, everything I care about, it's all for this family!"_

 _"Mabel, what if he's lying? This thing can destroy the universe! Listen to your head!"_

 _"Look into my eyes Mabel! Do you really think I'm a bad guy?"_

 _"He's lying! Shut it down NOW!"_

 _"Mabel please!"_

" _Grunkle Stan…I trust you."_

" _Mabel are you crazy? We're all gonna—!_

/o\

" _Wha—? Who's that?"_

" _The Author of the Journals, my brother."_

/o\

" _"I have so many questions…journal #3 has been like, my_ _bible_ _since I found it! You have no idea how long I…"_

 _"Then you are a fool for putting so much stock into something that is mostly meaningless drivel written long ago by a young, ignorant and paranoid man! And the rest… was either a lie or should have never been seen by_ _children_ _or anyone for that matter."_

 _"But…that's not true. It's saved our lives many times... it…"_

 _"You shouldn't have done this, Stanley. You knew better than to rebuild this, you_ _know_ _how dangerous turning this on was!"_

 _"I got you back, didn't I? Isn't that worth anything?"_

 _"Not if it means killing us all! Because that's exactly what you've done!"_

/o\

" _Ugh after everything that's happened I can't believe you're still taking his side!"_

" _I'm not taking sides!"_

" _Yes you are! You should've just hit the damn button Mabel, then none of this would've happened!"_

" _What if it was me, Dipper? What if I was the one lost, trapped who knows where? Tell me honestly that you wouldn't risk_ everything _to get me back?"_

No fair, no fair, why'd you have to ask me that?

" _Tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing for me!"_

0-0-0

"Dipper, hey, hey dude, wake up," Soos nudges him gently and Dipper startles slightly before he blinks blearily awake and reality slams into him like a freight train as he looks around at the busy waiting room in the crippled hospital.

 _Mabel…_

The anomalies had done a lot of damage, and the hospital is no exception. Even without the crowd the place is in chaos, with staff everywhere trying to clean up small floods and random power outages, the ER waiting room littered with broken chairs, desks and equipment. It wasn't hit as bad as other parts of town, and apparently, according to one of the medics on the chopper, the anomalies were random enough that not even the entire building was affected. But considering the influx of people needing to be treated, it's bad enough.

Dipper looks around at the crowd and fortunately it looks like most of the injuries are broken bones or cuts that need stitches, but really, he has no idea how many of the townsfolk could be seriously hurt or worse.

 _Besides Mabel…Oh man, Mabel..._

He can't remember falling asleep. He remembers the helicopter landing and chasing the medics into the ER as they passed Mabel to the doctors in a scene that reminded him of those over the top hospital dramas on TV. He remembers them crowding around her, shouting orders to each other, working furiously to save her life. He remembers the panic that festered within him coming to a head and the desperate sensation of the kind of pressure one might feel in their chest when they're on the verge of hyperventilating. He remembers them ignoring him, pushing him aside and catching the most frightening words come out of one of the doctors mouths.

" _BP's dropping, we're losing her!"_

He remembers crying and screaming and begging her to hold on and not die as she vanished through a set of double doors and Soos's strong arms wrapping around him and then he couldn't breathe. Well, he could but he was breathing too quickly, each breath not enough to fill his lungs and then the room got blurry and voices became distant and tinny and then…nothing.

"Wait uh…what's going on? How did we…?" he's confused as he realizes that he's lying across two chairs, there's a thin white blanket draped over him and apparently he had been using Soos as a pillow.

"You passed out, dude," Soos explains grimly, "after they took Mabel away. They gave you a mild sedative to help you relax, do you remember that?" Dipper shakes his head and Soos continues, "You've been out for a couple of hours but were starting to get a little restless, you OK?"

Dipper shrugs the question off- _of course I'm not OK-_ as he gingerly sits up and rubs at a kink in his neck, "What about Mabel? Any news? Is she…?"

"No word yet," Soos replies, "but hey, no news is good news, right?"

"Maybe," he frowns, feeling an empty pit in his stomach. "I hope so…" he whimpers.

"Well uh…I don't know about you but I'm getting a little hungry. I saw a vending machine nearby, want anything?" Soos asks, clearly out of his element.

Dipper shakes his head numbly, "I'm good."

He's vaguely aware of Soos saying something about getting him something anyway to save for later if he wants but Dipper doesn't really respond, he just gives a non-committal shrug and closes his eyes, sighing heavily as he scratches lightly at the corner of his eyes to clear away tears that had dried and crusted while he slept.

 _You should've hit the damn button, Mabel, then none of this would've happened!_

 _What if it was me?_

 _Tell me honestly that you wouldn't risk_ everything _to get me back!_

 _No fair, why'd you have to ask me that, Mabel?_

Dipper shudders, fighting back an onslaught of tears that threaten to escape and he sniffs, closing his eyes and all he can see is Mabel. _Why'd I have to lash out at you so harshly? You only wanted to do what's right and I acted like a jerk, but…I was just so mad! But oh man, what if…what if that was the last thing we'll ever really say to each other?_

"No, don't think like that," Dipper says out loud, "she's strong, she's going to be fine."

 _She'll be fine. I won't accept any other outcome. She'll be OK, she_ has _to be…_

Soos soon returns with a package of toffee peanuts and hands them to Dipper who looks at them dumbly.

"Sorry, there's not much selection dude," Soos says apologetically, "I know they're not your favourite, but I figure it might be a while before we can get real food and out of what little was left, this seemed to be the most filling."

All Dipper can think about though is that they're Stan's favorite snack. Stan, who caused all this chaos, who sacrificed everything to save his brother, the Author who's identity he had stolen, who turned out to be a jerk. Stan, who lied to them. Stan, who sacrificed his freedom to save Mabel who might not even… "I don't want them," he snaps, shoving them back into Soos's hands rudely before he realizes how he sounds, "Sorry I uh…oh man, I'm sorry I just…"

"Hey, it's OK dude," Soos sighs with a small smile, "you got a lot goin' on, it's cool."

"Maybe later," Dipper ducks his head, "I'm not really hungry right now."

Soos looks at his selection almost opens it but stops at the last minute, "You know what? I'm not very hungry either," he chuckles humourlessly, "Go figure."

They sit in silence for a long time, sitting side by side. Dipper watches the crowd in the ER slowly dissipate, someone fixes the TV in the waiting room and turns the volume up to show a live press conference, reporting on the 'Anti-Gravity Phenomenon' that occurred earlier that day. There he learns that residents whose homes had been affected can report to a make-shift emergency shelter set up at Gravity Falls High School, it also tells people where to check for missing loved ones, and so far, while the damage to the town had been bad, it wasn't nearly as bad as originally feared. Homes and businesses were lost, but so far no fatalities reported though some had sustained serious injuries and at least one critical. Dipper knows immediately that that one critical patient is Mabel and he's suddenly scared that he'll learn of her fate over the news when he's right there, waiting for word on her condition.

 _Have they forgotten about me? Are they ignoring me because I'm a kid? I'm her brother, I need to know what's going on!_

Dipper stands up and groans, massages a kink in his neck and winces when the bruises he got down in the Portal room suddenly seem to come to life and throb without mercy. "Dude, where are you going?" Soos asks.

"To see if there's any word on Mabel," he replies, "it's been hours Soos, _hours_. I'm tired of waiting, I need to know if she's OK." _I need to know if she's going to make it…or if she's already gone…_ His breath hitches at the thought. He'd like to think that as her twin, he'd somehow know if she was gone, but there's no way to know for sure unless he finds out for himself.

"She's probably still in surgery," Soos says quietly, his own anxiousness showing just beneath his calm exterior, "I'm sure when they have an update to give they'll let us know."

"But it's been _hours_!" he protests as he begins to pace.

"And sometimes surgeries take hours," Soos points out, "take that as a good sign, dude. If they're still working, she's still with us."

"But what if they forgot about us? They're so busy and to them I'm just some kid, maybe they'll only talk to a grown-up family member. What if they…what if she…" he sniffs, feeling a ton of emotions slam into him at once, he feels a tear escape his watery eyes and he quickly wipes it away, "I was such a jerk to her, Soos." he mutters guiltily, biting his lip to keep from crying, "she was under so much pressure down there and I was a jerk! She only wanted to do what was right and I…I punished her for it! What if…what if I never even get the chance to tell her how sorry I am, Soos?"

Soos frowns, clearly not sure what to say but he rises to his feet and pulls Dipper into a comforting hug, "She knows Dipper, she knows. Don't beat yourself up over this, dude. There was so much going on and we were all acting a little crazy."

Dipper pushes away from him, "But you weren't. Mabel wasn't. I lashed out at her like a jerk when she only wanted to do what was right!"

"But so did you," Soos says, "and me too. We _all_ wanted to do what was right, it's just you two had different ideas about what was the right thing to do. You lashed out because your whole world had been turned upside-down, it all happened so fast, I mean, how do you react when someone you thought you knew turned out not to be the person you thought he was? And the stakes had never been higher! Based on what we knew, we were all acting on what we believed to be right. And to be honest dude, looking back, I'm _still_ not sure what the right thing to do was."

Dipper glances up at his friend, taken slightly aback by his wisdom. Sometimes Soos can be somewhat of an idiot, but sometimes, when it matters most, he can be a lot smarter than he lets on. "But the decision fell on Mabel's shoulders. I knew the kind of pressure she was under and she was right: for me the choice was an easy one, just shut it down. For her, it wasn't so easy and she only had seconds… I knew she would listen to her heart because she _always_ does…but look how that turned out…" He sniffs, bitter and hurt, his eyes drifting to the set of doors Mabel had disappeared through hours before. _Please don't die, Mabel, please…_

"What if there is no right choice? Maybe there was no way this could've ended well. At least…at least we know Mr. Pines never _intended_ for any of this to happen, that he didn't lie to us all this time because of some evil plot right out of a comic book. He only wanted to save his brother…" Soos murmurs, "He was also trying to do what he thought was right..."

Dipper sighs, "Yeah, I guess…" his breath hitches and he fights to keep from crying or screaming because he's so overwhelmed, it's all he wants to do, "Stan… oh man I couldn't even bother to listen to him when he was trying to explain himself and apologize... I was just…so _angry_ , I still am, even after what he did to help Mabel. I _hate_ him for lying to us and endangering us but…I know he didn't want this to happen…and I don't hate him, not really, and yet I _do_ and I just…I don't know what to do…"

Soos gives him a calming pat on the back, "I know, it's OK..."

"Am I a terrible person for feeling this way?"

"No," Soos shakes his head, then chuckles humourlessly, "unless we're both terrible people."

"Why do you say that?"

"I uh…I quit today," Soos admits, looking a little shocked by the idea, "I guess it doesn't make a difference now, with no Mystery Shack and all but… I worked for him for ten years, I looked up to him and always did as he asked without question but today… today he went too far. I never would've believed that he would keep a secret this big from me. I thought he trusted me… It was…it was kind of a sucker punch to know he couldn't trust me with something like that, you know? I had never in my life given him a reason not to. I mean, maybe if he said something…maybe things would've turned out OK. I'm kind of regretting it now…I know he put us all in danger, but he was only trying to protect us."

"A lot of good that did…" Dipper frowns bitterly as he ponders Soos's words, realizing that he's not the only one who feels betrayed by Stan's actions. He doesn't remember this, but then he figures it must've happened when he had gone upstairs to sulk.

"What do you think they'll do to him?" Dipper asks, thinking about how the Government agents beat up Stan when he had surrendered peacefully— _To save Mabel…_ he thinks, which only reminds him that Stan's the reason they're in the ER waiting room, waiting for news of her fate. He closes his eyes and he can see Mabel choking on her blood, gasping what he fears will be her last words. _Don't think like that, she'll be OK, she_ has _to be…_

"I don't know, dude," Soos sighs.

"So what happens now?" he asks, his voice small and vulnerable, breaking with emotion.

"I don't know," he replies softly, "but…no matter what happens, I'm right here by your side, dude."

"Thanks," Dipper whispers and then suddenly he just can't hold it in anymore. He's so overwhelmed. It's just all too much for him. Too much that has happened, too much that is still unknown, and way too much at stake and Dipper feels completely helpless. He's so terrified that Mabel won't make it, and he doesn't know how to handle the conflicting feelings of love and hate, anger and forgiveness towards Stan that fight for dominance within him. He can hardly breathe and it takes everything he has not to lose it completely.

Soos reaches out to comfort him, looking a little uncomfortable and out of his element because he really doesn't know what to do in this kind of situation, but that's OK because neither does Dipper. They're both drifting without an anchor, both a little lost. Soos rests his hand on Dipper's shoulder but Dipper pulls away.

"Sorry I…I um….I'll be right back OK, Soos?" he manages to get out before he runs off, not sure of what he needs but he can suddenly feel eyes watching him, total strangers who have taken notice to his turmoil, or if they haven't yet will soon notice him and stare if he has a breakdown in the middle of the ER waiting room... He just needs a minute, needs a moment of privacy as he tries to figure things out because it's so overwhelming and he just doesn't know anymore…

He finds a bathroom and ducks inside, locking the door behind him before he leans heavily against it and sinks down until he's in a crouching position, burying his face in his hands. All he can see behind his closed eyelids is images of Mabel, smiling, cheerful, goofy Mabel. He can hear her laughter, he can hear her crying out, _I want to believe you but…_ and he can see her falling, falling, falling, blood spilling from her mouth.

"Oh man, please be OK, Mabel, please be OK…" he whispers unsteadily, trying to shake the horrific image from his mind. After she had fallen, she looked like she was dead, and even though as far as he knows she's still alive and fighting, premature grief strikes his heart. _I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you…_

He thinks of Stan, the person responsible for everything that had happened. And he still can't shake the image of the government agents beating him after he surrendered peacefully to save Mabel's life. While watching Stan getting beaten to the ground felt wrong and completely unjustified, a part of him, somewhere in the dark regions of his mind, Dipper found grim satisfaction at the sight because if it weren't for him, Mabel wouldn't have needed saving in the first place. It's the one truth that he simply can't let go of.

Dipper knows that Stan never wanted her or anyone to get hurt, and he realizes that Stan only wanted to save his brother, but was it really worth it? Was it worth living a lie and betraying the trust of his friends and family? Was it worth destroying the town? Was it worth putting everyone in danger?

 _Tell me honestly that you wouldn't risk_ everything _to get me back!_

Mabel's voice echoes in his mind and he bangs the back of his head against the door. He would. Dammit he would. "I will if I have to…" he says out loud in response to the memory. Mabel is worth it, always. "But oh man, I don't know what to do…"

He sobs into his hands for a few minutes until there's nothing left. He's drained, empty and numb, at least for now, but his state of mind and soul is so fragile, he recognizes that it won't take much for him to lose it again. But right now, numb is a welcome reprieve.

He climbs to his feet and looks at his reflection in the mirror for the first time since the Portal. He's a complete mess. His hair is in complete disarray, his eyes are red and puffy and the circles under his eyes are darker now, his nose is red and dripping with snot from crying and there's still a small amount of dried blood crusted on his cheeks. Mabel's blood. And there's some on his shirt too. He turns on the tap and scrubs it away, trying to get it out of his shirt as his mind one again takes him back to the image of her lying in his arms, choking on her own blood. There's not a lot of it on him, most of her blood had been left back at the remains of the Mystery Shack staining the ground outside, but what little is there he wants it _gone_. He doesn't need the physical reminder, the whole scene will undoubtedly haunt his memory for a long, long time anyway, no matter what the outcome.

After some scrubbing he's pretty sure that he's managed to rid his shirt of Mabel's bloodstains, but it's hard to tell, the water darkens the orange of his shirt too much but he hopes that when it dries the evidence of that horrifying memory will have vanished. _I'll burn this shirt if I have to, if the stains are still there…_ he thinks.

He washes his face a second time, scrubbing it dry with a paper towel and looks at his reflection in the mirror again. He's still a mess, but there's not much he can do about that. At least he _almost_ looks more like himself.

Sighing heavily he heads back towards the waiting room to join Soos. He spots his friend sitting exactly where he left him, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, his face buried in his hands. Dipper starts towards him but two men in black reach Soos first. His heart leaping to his chest Dipper runs up to them just as one of them began to speak.

"Jesus Ramirez?"

"Uh, yeah. It's Soos, actually," he replies, startled as his suddenly panicked eyes dart to Dipper and then at the Agents.

"We need you to come with us," the other Agent tells him, his voice monotone. The two men are all business.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Dipper exclaims, standing between them and his friend, "Leave him alone!"

"Stand aside kid," the first Agent says, gently pushing him out of his way, "Mr. Ramirez, our records show that you've been working for Stanford Pines for ten years now?"

"Uh that's right but…"

"We just need you to come with us, we have a few questions we need to ask you," he continues. Something in his voice tells Dipper that there's more to it than that. They don't think Soos is guilty do they?

"But he doesn't know anything," Dipper protests, "none of us had any idea of what Stan was up to!"

"Dipper, it's OK," Soos smiles nervously at him, swallowing hard. "It's just a few questions, right? And then when we're done I can come back here?"

"If we determine we have no reason to hold you, yes," the first Agent nods.

Soos sighs with relief, "Then it's OK. It'll be OK. I have nothing to hide."

Dipper pushes past the Agents and throws his arms around him and Soos bends over to return the hug, lifting Dipper off his feet, "Don't worry, dude. I'll be fine."

 _I hope so…_ "Hurry back," Dipper whispers.

"I will," Soos nods, setting him down and following the two Agents out of the building. He gives Dipper one last look, he looks calm but his eyes betray his panic as he disappears from view.

Suddenly Dipper's acutely aware of how alone he is. His limbs feel like jelly and he sits down on the chair Soos just vacated, shocked by what just happened. Sure, it probably should've been expected, Stan turned himself in so it makes sense that an investigation will follow, but…they already played dirty with Stan, what if they do the same to Soos? And with Mabel's fate still unknown…

Feeling more alone than he has ever been in his life, Dipper wraps his arms around himself with nothing left to do but wait.

* * *

A/N So what did you guys think of this chapter? What do you think will happen now? I would love to hear your thoughts and theories! I'm kind of a review junkie and need my fix. ;-P You guys are awesome and keep me motivated!


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